Unmei Kyoudoutai
by tess4aria
Summary: Immortality comes in different forms. A long-sought-after stone, and a dark curse. In the darkest loneliness, isolation, the only cure is the other. KaiShin Immortality/Vamp Fic! Rating may change! Please R&R! Thanks !
1. Chapter 1

_**Unmei Kyoudoutai (To share a Common Destiny)**_

Immortality comes in different forms. A long-sought-after stone, and a dark curse. In the darkest loneliness, isolation, the only cure is the other. KaiShin Immortality/Vamp Fic! Rating may change!

* * *

_**Chapter 1: The Setting Sun**_

Hi everyone! Let me first say, this is a KaiShin (or ShinKai) fic, so if you are not a fan of male/male relationships, please don't read it!

Also, I have stolen SOME inspiration from Anne Rice, I admit (who I know HATES people writing fanfiction about her books...but I'm not. Again, taking inspiration isn't illegal, right?)

Anyway, I hope you enjoy this!

Warning: ANGST, contemplations of suicide, Vampire stuff/violence/blood, hot magicianthief/detective interactions, character death (natural, supernatural)

Phew, done with warnings...that makes the story look like it's full of this stuff...I wouldn't say it is TOO much. Anyway, PLEASE, PLEASE review! You have no idea how much it means to me! Whether you love it or hate it, I want to know! :D Thanks sooo much~!

I do not own meitantei Conan

**_R&R~! Thanks!_**

* * *

An easy smirk played on his lips as he clutched the evening's prize in his fist. The wind messing up his already wild hair, he slowly lifted it up to the full moon, brilliantly shining down on him.

It was always this way. He'd gotten so used to the fruitless search for the gem, to watching the moonlight shine through the unchanged stones, that he'd practically stopped thinking about the gem as his target. He continued to perform this test out of habit, but in truth, he had new motivations for continuing the heists…

_Hurry up, Tantei-kun. It isn't like you to keep me waiting. _Hurried footsteps behind the door made him smile before he let his mind wander back to the gem. Was it just him, or was it actually radiating heat? The amusement in his eyes as he considered the soon-to-begin battle with his rival stopped on a dime, his expression changing to pure and utter shock. The gem was glowing. The previously blue gem was now pale red, a second, smaller gem glowing brilliant blood-red within it.

His heart began to convulse as if unsure whether to leap or clench. _Pandora_. _Finally, I've found you_. It was as if the gem had him possessed-he couldn't look away. As he stared, it began to cloud his vision, as the red of the inner gem seemed to move out, move towards him, two lines of red light pouring into his eyes…

The gem dulled, returning to its previous pale blue, shining innocently. KID was vaguely aware of someone calling out to him…someone familiar.

"-ID…KID! Oi, what's wrong?"

The odd tingling numbness that had overridden his other senses, as if he'd been in a trance, gently lifted, and he lowered his gaze to meet wide, worried cerulean.

"KID?" He sounded somewhat relieved at the thief's half-acknowledgement of him…that comatose look he was giving was really freaking him out.

"Ta-Tantei...kun?" Blinking, KID cocked his head, wondering why those beautiful eyes looked so sad… so worried.

"What's wrong with you? You scared me for a second, Barou!" The apparent nine-year-old punched him in the gut before giving him a slight smile.

For some reason, seeing that smile, a rush of goofy exhilaration filled up the thief's chest. He crouched down and grinned at Edogawa Conan, putting a hand on his shoulder.

"You have your soccer-ball-from-hell on you?"

Smirking slightly, Conan drawled "Naturally. Would you like an exhibit?"

"As crazy as it may sound, I'll say sure. This may be our last time meeting this way, after all…"

The little detective's eyes widened in shock, and then eying the large gem still gripped firmly in KID's hand, shot a look of dawning understanding, and fierce curiosity. "Is that it? What you've been looking for?"

Slowly, KID nodded, but he didn't smile. For some reason, he didn't feel like smiling and he had trouble downright lying to that penetrating gaze. So he'd found his target. He should be relieved, thrilled...but all he could think of as he looked at the boy in front of him was...what reason would they have to continue their game after this? That thought-the thought that his favorite activity was no longer…needed…how could things ever be the same between them?

Plastering his poker-face KID-grin on his face, he slowly lifted the gem up to show the detective. "Now all that's left is to get rid of it," he said.

"This is what the organization was after? It doesn't look special." Conan's eyes narrowed slightly as he took the gem from Kaito's grip.

"You didn't see it before?" Kaito asked quietly.

Eyes widening, he said "I didn't see the gem, but I did notice that odd red light…KID, this gem, what is it supposed to do?"

"Oh, well it's..." Kaito stopped, a feeling of dread washing over him…some ominous presence…

_There._

He saw the not-child's eyes widen and his body freeze. Without a thought, Kaito leapt forward and pushed the detective out of the way.

His senses were flooded with incredible pain as he could feel the bullet drive through his tissue, ripping through his chest, his nerve endings screaming at his brain to pass out, give up, But his body-or was it his body? -began to fight back, even as blood was washing over him, over the detective he was curled on top of, absolute terror written in his eyes.

"K-KID? KID, no...oh my god, please, KID!"

Odd. Despite the initial blinding pain, he was now more aware of a hot tingling spreading throughout his body, but concentrating on his chest, where the bullet had gone through. Those worried, blue eyes again flashed through his mind. _He's worried about me? I'm fine, but what about him?_

Panic suddenly overtaking him, Kaito gripped the boy on both shoulders and demanded roughly, forcefully, "Are you hurt? Did he get you? ANSWER ME TANTEI-KUN!"

The boy was too shocked to do more than shake his head, his eyes focusing on the impossible thing that was happening before him.

Where there had been a brutal, ugly, gaping hole in the thief's chest, there was a new layer of unblemished, unwounded skin. Slowly, carefully, eyes wide and breath catching, Conan inched closer, bringing a hand up to touch what should have been the cause of his rival's instant death. Looking up, two pairs of confused, bemused eyes met.

"See, I told you I'm fine," Kaito said softly, moving his arm around to catch the detective who looked quite shaky on his feet. Suddenly remembering, Kaito spun around frantically, eyes scanning for the culprit. His breath finally eased up once he'd confirmed that the sniper seemed to have left them for the time being. Apparently, he figured a bullet wound through the chest counted as a successful hit, the night's mission accomplished.

Kaito's head was spinning with confusion, yet he felt anchored by the warm body he had pressed against him, shaking.

"Is it some kind of healing gem?"

"Oh, well, it's actually... supposed to be…" He trailed off. It sounded so insane, but what had just happened? Certainly nothing normal. Nothing explainable by anything other than the unexplainable.

"I'm going to destroy it…do you want to-"

Before he had finished, bright blue eyes stared determinedly up in his and nodded firmly.

"Let's go, then," Kaito said, gently lifting the smaller body in his arms, cradling him in one as he switched his cape to hang-glider mode. Pressing Conan's body closer to his chest as a chilly breeze made him shiver, he wrapped both arms around him and dove.

In the freedom of flight, Kaito was momentarily able to _almost _forget his worries, but the events were still so fresh...That sniper had almost hit Tantei-kun, and _had _hit him…but he wasn't dead. Did that mean the legend was…true? What then? He had never seriously considered what that would really mean-immortality. He had always planned on finding the gem-if it existed-to destroy it, not for some magic power it supposedly possessed. The suggestion that he'd accidentally tapped into its power…the chill which rushed over him with these thoughts was banished just as quickly by the warm breath of the detective clutching his shirt in his fists, his mouth less than an inch from his throat.

Automatically, Kaito raised his right hand and ran it through the shrunken Kudou Shinichi's hair, pressing him still closer and letting his face rest in the hair which was always so much neater than his own…

He was surprised by the lack of objection coming from the smaller form, but then again, they were flying quite high, and there wasn't much the detective could do but clutch to him. Kaito smirked slightly at the thought. But his smirk vanished as he remembered the look of fear in Conan's eyes when he'd been staring at the wound he…should have had.

Another chill washed over him, but he just wound his arms more securely around his rival/adversary (and occasional ally) and let himself enjoy the ride as the Tokyo lights sparkled below them like an incredible sea of stars, feeling as if he were blanketed by the night sky both above and below.

They landed on a little cliff by the ocean. Slowly, gently, he let down his passenger, who quickly disguised the wobbly-ness of his legs when they first touched solid ground.

"So you're throwing it into the ocean?"

Smiling, Kaito nodded.

"Will that be enough?" Conan cocked an eyebrow up at him.

"It should be. And besides… I'm not sure if it's functional anymore after…"

The detective's eyes widened. "KID. What is it? The supposed effect?"

Not meeting his eyes, Kaito paused before letting out a short, cold laugh, quite unlike his usual fun-loving or mirthful KID laughs. "Immortality...sounds crazy, huh?"

Conan's eyes widened, but then he just stepped forward, smiling gently. "Well, whatever it does, I'm not going to complain..." His expression darkened once again. "That was really dangerous, barou, you almost..."

His voice caught, and Kaito shook his head. "I'm fine. Don't worry about me. What's important is that you're..."

"Why?"

"Huh?"

"Why do you care if I'm safe?"

"What do you mean?" Flustered (which NEVER happened to Kaito), he quickly sputtered "Well, it's my rule! No one gets hurt at my heists!"

It was faint, but he noticed the slightest hint of disappointment flash over the detective's face. Automatically, he grabbed Conan's wrist and pulled him into his chest, winding an arm around his back, his other hand playing with his hair. "You know that's not it. You're special to me. You know that...that's why..." He gulped and released Conan who was staring at him with wide, curious eyes.

The blush coloring his cheeks made Kaito's heart skip a beat.

"That's why even if I'm not Kaitou Kid anymore...I..."

A smile breaking onto his face, Conan said "What should I call you?"

Looking up to meet the direct, piercing stare, he didn't hesitate any further. "Kuroba Kaito."

Conan smiled at him, and then a slight frown of uncertaintly settled on his face. "So I'll definitely see you again?"

"You'll see me, and soon," Kaiito assured. "I can promise you, I'll be around."

"Kuroba-kun, I.."

"Kaito."

"Huh?"

"Call me Kaito. Please, Shinichi."

Much to the detective's chagrin, another slight blush crept up into his cheeks at the informal mode of address, but for some reason it just felt…right, somehow.

His relationship with the thief had almost always been somewhat unorthodox. They had always been rivals before enemies. And earlier this year, KID had helped him take down the organization that had been haunting his life for so long. After that day, though, his life had taken quite a monotonous turn. Besides waiting for Haibara to figure out the antidote, heists with KID had become by far his most interesting diversion. The idea that he'd lose that standard, that equalizing weight in his life…it made his stomach turn.

He looked up at the thief who somehow still wanted to continue their game...and in so doing, suggesting it meant as much much to him as it did to Conan. An overwhelming and comforting warmth spread over him at the thought.

"Let's get rid of that gem, then...Kaito."

* * *

The next day, Kaito had shown up at the Kudou mansion after tailing Conan there, finally revealing himself in full. It was almost odd, how well they got along when all pretense of thief-detective (which had only been hanging on by a thread by the end anyway) was dropped. Conan had apparently begun coming to the Kudou mansion more often after the fall of the organization, using it as something of a sanctuary. He would spend most of his time in the library reading.

Kaito, for his part, was happily surprised by how much fun it was to just be around his favorite detective, no matter what the activity. After discovering the Kudou library housed a good number of Arsene Lupin books, he'd even resigned to share the detective's reading time…for a while. You can't expect a hyper magician-thief to sit still for _that _long.

And so they began something of a ritual. After reading together on one of the big couches in the Kudou library (Kaito would often try to read with Conan in his lap which usually ended with the thief pouting while holding his solar plexus) Kaito would hop up and dart around the house to arm it with a variety of booby tracks Conan would then systematically discover and disarm.

Afterwards, they would play 'ball,' which translated to a combination of juggling and soccer Kaito had invented in his attempts at negotiation. He was so proud the first time Tantei-kun managed to juggle for a straight minute while kicking the soccer ball from foot to foot.

Then one day, things changed.

To respect his detective's wish to avoid awkward situations, Kaito was surprisingly careful about phoning before he made his visits. Though honestly, he'd taken to making trips almost every other day, sometimes more-whenever he had the time, really…and he would phone the detective about practically anything. To tell him how Aoko had switched to wearing fish underwear, which had practically given him a heart-attack... or that his mom was trying to get him to start dating... or to discuss what prank he should pull on Hakuba next… but one day, Conan stopped picking up, and stopped calling.

Kaito tried not to worry, thinking that the detective-nerd was probably getting dragged along by Occhan and Ran on any of the multitude of murder cases he seemed to attract. Of course, not like this comforted the magician. If it were up to him, his innocent little Shin-chan should drop his blood-filled violent profession and join him as his assistant magician. He'd actually mastered a good many tricks in a short amount of time, after all…if he were to put a fraction of the passion he put into deduction into magic, who knows what he could do?

Friday, around 5pm, was the one day they always met unless something special had come up. Being after school for both of them had ended, it was a time that just worked well for them. Kaito was definitely looking forward to getting some questions answered…smirking mischievously, he thought about the different creative ways he might get the detective to blush…_that'll get him back for being so unresponsive this week! Haha!_

It was still moderately sunny outside, so Kaito was thinking of dragging his quarry to the park for a change.

But when he got to the Kudou mansion, every curtain was drawn tightly closed…and the curtains were black, which he found unusual…weren't they white before?

When no one answered the doorbell, he decided to let himself in through a side-window as was opt to do when his favorite detective/friend was being grumpy or slow.

_Why is it so dark in here?_ _Geez, Shin-chan, this place is creepy in the dark_.

Flipping on a few lights as he went, Kaito couldn't help but feel that something wasn't right… but flinging open the doors to the library flamboyantly, he sang out sweetly, "I'm home, Shin-chan~"

He frowned when he was greeted with silence. _Hmph, where is he? _

Noticing the door to his bedroom was closed, Kaito smiled and slowly, gently, creaked it open. It was really dark, but he looked over where he knew the bed to be.

And his heart leapt, his eyes widening.

Lying on the bed... was Kudou Shinichi. As in no longer Edogawa Conan. He was back! _That little scary scientist girl must have finally come through for him!_

Kaito's joy was growing by bounds as he found himself transfixed, simply staring at the man in front of him.

The nineteen-year old Shinichi looked a good deal like he himself, he had to admit, but looking at him this way, his awareness of the resemblance was instantly washed away. With a slight jolt, he noticed that despite the darkness of the room, Shinichi's sleeping face appeared to be glowing. He looked ethereal, unreal. Absolutely, painfully beautiful.

Like a man possessed, Kaito found himself drawn over to the sleeping figure, smiling down at his newest close friend.

Gently, he reached a hand up and ran it through the detective's soft hair, surprised at just how soft it was… as if it were made of dark brown feathers… before running his hand down his cheek.

_Cold. Why is he so cold_? Taking his other hand, he proceeded to check his hands, his neck, his wrist… before his own blood ran cold. _Where's his pulse? Oh you're just being silly, Kaito. He's sleeping soundly, see? His chest is moving up and down…and he doesn't look hurt…_

Smiling again and brushing up the detective's bangs from his face, he slowly leaned his own forehead against Shinichi's. Again, so cold…but it wasn't a bad cold, really. It was just different…It made him want to warm him, somehow.

Noting Shinichi still seemed fast asleep, Kaito smiled devilishly as he eyed his face, his eyes darting to one spot in particular. _Have his lips always been this red?_

Smiling some more, Kaito quickly bent down and placed his lips over Shinichi's deathly-cold (but still soft) ones.

Suddenly, blue eyes flipped open, and a wave of pain shot through Kaito.

He wasn't sure what had happened, even, but suddenly, he was being pressed against the opposite wall, Shinichi standing in front of him, glaring at him in a way he'd never seen. Anger, fierce anger, and fear but motivated by…what? Hate? No. Behind the red-hot terrifying expression, there was a desperate plea, and could he hope? Some affection? But before he could process anything else, a hand was around his neck, choking him.

"Get out of here. Now," he growled in a low, threatening tone Kaito had never heard before.

"Shinichi, what wrong?" He managed to say as he used practically all of his strength loosening the detective's iron grip around his neck by a fraction of an inch.

"You are never to come back here."

His eyes widened. "What? That's bullshit! Why would I stop coming? You're my friend, Shinichi!"

A cold, hard laugh erupted from the figure before him. It made him shiver, it was so unlike him.

"Friend? Don't fuck with me, thief. You're not my friend. Just get out of here."

Kaito felt as if shards of glass were penetrating every inch of his heart, cutting into it, crushing it. He knew he was lying, but just what was wrong? What had happened to lead his detective to act this way?

"Shinichi," Kaito croaked and, boldly, he reached a hand up, running it through the detective's hair again. Apparently shocked at the thief's daring, Shinichi didn't stop him for a few seconds, but then roughly grabbed the hand and threw it back to its owner.

"Please tell me. You know you can trust me," Kaito tried to smile.

"I don't have anything to tell you, Kaito. I just want to be alone. And don't break in without permission again!"

His voice was so cold that Kaito felt his remaining defenses weakening. It wasn't Shinichi's hard words which were killing him, but the pain in his eyes. The obvious pain of some secret…some secret he felt he had to face alone. Why? What was it that he couldn't trust him? He thought they were telling each other everything now…

"Tell me, Shinichi! I'll figure it out anyway, so just tell me, for fuck's sakes!" He was getting slightly hysterical, desperate for anything that would just get that empty, terrified, angry look out of Shinichi's eyes.

Suddenly, it was gone. No, on second glance, it was still there, but it was fainter. Was Shinichi covering it up?

"Listen Kaito," he said softly, calmly, his normal voice back. "I'm sorry, but this is something I can't tell you now. You need to trust me on this, okay?" He looked into Kaito's eyes pleadingly, and softly, Kaito responded.

"Will you tell me someday? You can't keep a secret from me forever, Shinichi. So please…I want to know…"

"Someday. If the right time comes, I'll tell you."

The finality in his tone made Kaito nod once, keeping his eyes on Shinichi's brilliant cerulean ones. They seemed to be literally glowing, boring into him, and that skin…so pale, translucent… what was wrong with his Shinichi? He looked beautiful, but…

With a soft push on his back, Shinichi whisked him down the stairs. When he got to the door, Kaito turned around. "When can I see you?"

Shinichi just shook his head, and Kaito's heart plummeted even further.

"Don't come back, Kaito," his soft voice shook slightly as he said it, sending a shockwave of conflicting emotions through Kaito.

"I'm not giving up on you, you know."

"I mean what I'm saying, Kaito. I don't want to be disturbed. Please..."

Gulping, Kaito nodded almost imperceptibly at the pleading tone and look in Shinichi's eyes.

The slightest ghost of an affectionate smile graced the corners of Shinichi's lips, and he pushed Kaito towards the door.

He turned around to say something else, but Shinichi was gone. But there hadn't been a sound! Heart heavy, and mangled in confusion, Kaito pushed his way through the door, looking back every few steps…

* * *

It didn't get any better from then on. Kaito continued to keep an eye on Shinichi as much as he could, which turned out to be more difficult than he imagined it would.

Though he DID, in fact, leave his house (which relieved Kaito some-at least he's not holing up in there!), he would wait until late, until there were very few people around, and it was quite dark outside. _So people won't recognize him,_ Kaito figured based on the detective's apparent newfound distaste for company…

So Kaito could determine _when _Shinichi left the house, but not _where _he went. He seemed to have developed an astonishing knack for escaping from his magician/thief-stalker recently, and so Kaito's only chance was to catch him when he first exited the house. Not much luck, though. Shinichi seemed to have developed superhuman speed.

He would say that was crazy, but he knew from experience…stranger things had happened. For the time being, he would content himself with simply being able to get a glimpse of Shinichi, to see with his own eyes that he was still here, that he was fine…hopefully, at least.

It seemed it wasn't only Kaito he had blocked out. There was one very upset and hurt Mouri Ran, for one thing… and an indignant Kansai detective… at least Shinichi left the house when it was just him (Kaito) holding up fort outside…when the others came to check on him, there would be no answer from inside, no matter how they screamed. On one occasion, Hattori had actually broken in, but Shinichi was miraculously nowhere to be found.

He tried not to let it get his hopes up that at least to him, at least he would show himself to him…if that were the case, then maybe someday…someday he would share this burden…

* * *

On his way to his usual stake-out one night, Kaito decided to cross through a little park as a shortcut. Trying to distract himself from his now habitual worried thoughts about the troubled detective, he began to concentrate on the crunching of Fall leaves beneath his feet. _Crunch, crunch. _He stopped suddenly, but the crunch noise continued…though more faintly. Then it, too, stopped.

His heart beginning to beat frantically, Kaito began to walk again, willing himself to hurry but not to look as if he'd noticed anything…something incredibly difficult to do when your blood is pounding so loudly you feel clouded, unable to think a straight thought.

_The crunching again, from…wasn't it behind me? _

With a horrible jolt, he recognized the man blocking his way.

"Snake," he growled. The man who killed his father…who had started everything.

"Look what we have here. How's your father been, Kuroba-kun?" he said in a horrible, icy, mocking voice.

"You bastard…don't you dare mention him!"

"Oh? Little bird get his feathers ruffled? Let me ask you another one, then. What did you do with Pandora? And how did you survive that night?" There was a dangerous glint in his eyes which was getting worse.

Smirking at him, Kaito said, confidence in his voice this time, "Pandora is gone. I disposed of it, so you might as well give up. Your days of controlling and messing with our lives are over!"

At this, the sniper scowled and brought the gun up, aiming directly at Kaito's head.

Steeling his expression, Kaito faced the gun barrel confidently as he said, "Oh, and as for how I survived that night, maybe you should consider the stone I was holding." He grinned at the slight flinch obvious on the Sniper's face.

"We'll see about that." And he shot. This time, through his mouth. The pain was unimaginable. Death would have been a mercy, but rather the pain dragged on this time…in fact, it increased, as if the original impact was too intense for him to process it fully, but as his cells worked to heal themselves, the debilitating pain swallowed him, and he collapsed, barely conscious.

He was barely aware of a rush of movement before a scream and a horrible snap…and what was that sound? An odd gurgling, a sucking…more snaps. Willing his eyes to open, they widened the rest of the way at the scene before him.

Snake…or what HAD been snake, was now a bloody mess of broken limbs, his neck off to the side, obviously snapped. His arms, too…and he looked…too pale, as if he were absent of…blood. Crouching beside him, and staring at him with an odd look…was his detective. His detective with a bit of blood on his lower lip. His tongue quickly lapped it up.

"Shi-Shinichi?" Kaito was vaguely shocked that he could talk, the wound already almost completely healed.

His eyes met cerulean tinged with other colors-red, silver, gold-swimming around, dancing as they regarded him. "Shinichi?" But the eyes weren't looking into his, they were staring. Staring at his mouth…at the pool of blood, some drying, some still pouring from him.

Kaito felt his heart speed up. The way Shinichi-his Shinichi-was looking at him...it was as if he were a predator eying a cut of meat. Gently, powerful hands gripped Kaito from behind, and Shinichi's mouth, now exuding heat, approached him and captured his lips.

Kaito's eyes widened at the contact. The lips were moving hungrily, possessively, and then he felt a warm tongue enter him, moving around, and he noticed that his mouth was fast emptying of the strange copper taste, as if the blood were being suctioned out… and of course. He was sucking it from him.

Once his mouth had been taken care of for the most part, Shinichi slowly trailed his tongue from Kaito's chin to his cheek, sending tingles up and down the former thief's body.

He didn't stop to look him in the eye, or to say anything. He was like a cat grooming another…he simply continued his ministrations until Kaito was totally cleaned of blood.

Moving a little lower, Shinichi approached Kaito's neck, and Kaito wrapped his arms around him, understanding what had happened…though it seemed too incredible, too impossible.

Suddenly, the detective froze, and backed away, looking horrified. Looking at him straight on this way, Kaito noticed for the first time the pair of long, sharp-looking fangs. Shinichi continued to watch him, eyes wide open, as Kaito slowly approached him, slowly reaching a hand out to him. Shinichi growled warningly, but Kaito only slowed ever-so-slightly, brushing his hand near his mouth, curious to see, to feel if those incisors were as sharp as they looked…or sharper.

Shinichi caught Kaito's hand in a firm grip before he could reach his mouth, and shook his head firmly. Then, a look of shocked rememberance and utter horror flashing onto his face, Shinichi turned to face the pile of drained flesh and broken bones which had once been the murderer of Kuroba Touichi.

"At least he won't bother us anymore, right?" Kaito put in, trying to lighten the situation, but Shinichi seemed to have gone catatonic.

"Shin-Shin-chan? It's okay, Shin-chan! You were just protecting me! Don't worry about it!"

But there was no response. Suddenly, Kaito felt himself lifted, and then a rush of air. He'd never moved so quickly…on the ground that is…they must have been going around Shinkansen-speed, if he had to make a guess. All he was aware of was the warmth of the strong body which held him, protecting him. Suddenly, he was let down, gently, and realized where he'd been deposited. Shinichi had brought him home, to his house.

"Thanks, Shin-chan. Mom's probably getting worried."

An odd look was going through Shinichi's eyes as he regarded the thief.

Cocking his head questioningly, Kaito was surprised when Shinichi quickly stroked his face with one hand.

What was going on? Was Shinichi…crying? Could vampires cry? Because that was what he was, he was certain. Dark, red tears streaked down the beautiful, pale face in front of him, and Shinichi smiled faintly. "Thank you, Kaito," he said softly.

"For what, Shin-chan?"

Shaking his head, Shinichi just held his gaze with his own, willing him to understand. He needn't have worried. Kaito could practically feel Shinichi's emotions, could understand him without him uttering a word. He smiled back. Again, Shinichi ran his hand gently done Kaito's cheek, stroking his chin, before suddenly, too unnaturally quickly, spinning on the spot and taking off.

Kaito felt his heart leap as he tried to commit to memory the feeling of Shinichi's hand on his face…the feeling, earlier, of his lips, his tongue…Suddenly, he shivered as other images fought for entry into his psyche. The mutilated body of Snake…it really had been grotesque, but he had to be strong for Shin-chan. He couldn't let him know it had terrified him.

A rush of wind, and he knew the detective had gone. _What if he…He couldn't have heard me, right?_

His dreams that night were fitful, full of blood-red rubies and scowling murderers…and of Shinichi shrinking from him. Shrinking away.

* * *

When he woke up the next day, he visited Shinichi, intending to just check he'd made it back alright. It made sense, now, why he never went out in the bright sunlight anymore.

Climbing to Shinichi's window, he peered through the curtain. The bed was empty.

His heart thumping, Kaito leapt through into the room. Frantically, he began to search the house. The library, attic, basement, kitchen, sunroom, music room, dining room…but he knew as he was searching it was useless.

Shinichi wasn't there. Shinichi had left. He had left him.

Collapsing back against the wall of Shinichi's bedroom, Kaito began to shake. What had been the final straw? Was it his fault? Had Shinichi heard his weak thoughts?

Or was he already planning on leaving? The haunted look as Shinichi had glimpsed what he'd done to Snake kept playing through Kaito's mind. But he wasn't there anymore for him to comfort…or at least to TRY to comfort him!

It was useless…Letting his poker-face drop entirely, Kaito began to cry. Raw tears of pain, of longing, of loneliness. _No, Shinichi. I didn't even get to tell you yet…_

Crying, he fell asleep wrapped around Shinichi's pillow in his twin bed.

* * *

Shinichi didn't come back after that. Years passed, and he was presumed dead. Ran moved on, got to be a lawyer like her mom and got married when she was 26 to a man she'd gone to law school with. Everyone was told Edogawa Conan had gone back to the states to live with his mom. After Shinichi's disappearance, Haibara Ai had stopped her research on the Apo toxin antidote. She wasn't planning on returning to Miyano Shiho, after all…

Kaito's friends grew up, and were all living pretty normal, happy lives. Aoko and Hakuba started dating (much to Kaito's disgust)...for our thief, however, things weren't so simple.

It became clear to him pretty early on that his body hadn't changed. Not in height, weight, hair length, nail length…from the night he had found Pandora.

This wasn't problematic for the first few years, but then…it become increasingly noticeable that while his friends grew more completely into their adult physiques, Kaito was still trapped at the tail-end of being a teenager. When he turned 25 (though, physically, was still 19), he began to increase modifications to his appearance, trying to maintain the illusion that he was, in fact, changing…

When it reached the ten year mark, though…

It became increasingly clear to him that he could NOT keep this up. In his secrecy already, he'd found himself growing further and further from his friends.

They all had their lives, their normal lives they could live out as best they could…growing old normally, getting jobs, getting married, kids if they wanted to…but basically just having the companionship of being in the same boat, of being affected by time at the same rate as everyone else.

This could not be said for Kaito, who every day began to feel more and more that by staying, by trying to maintain the masquerade of normalcy, that he was just delaying the inevitable separation from his past life that he had to make…and the longer he waited, the more painful it would become. Thirteen years. He should have been 32... but he was still 19.

He had long been avoiding his old friends, acquaintances. Seeing Aoko and Hakuba was particularly painful, not only because they represented to him what he should have had, but they both knew him well enough to see that something wasn't right. It wasn't just Hakuba-kun who was sharp enough to see through the disguises to see that Kaito was still sporting a definitely-not-over-thirty physique.

So one day, he finally left. It had just become too painful to watch those around him change. He realized that he really couldn't maintain his masquerade around them forever. He felt extremely guilty about his mom, but he knew part of her realized what was going on. She knew about Pandora, about what had led to her husband's death, and though she never said anything, the way her pained but loving eyes regarded him recently gave her away.

So when he told her, she understood, and he promised he would visit her. He would write to her. He would keep in touch.

To everyone else, he was going abroad to live for an indeterminate time. It was like that that he left and began a new life of starting off somewhere, managing to stay in one place for between 10-15 years, most of the time. If he really liked the place, he would use his talent as a master of disguise to stretch the time a little longer.

* * *

Eighty years passed, and yet Kuroba Kaito was completely unchanged. _Woot, next year will be my 112__th__ birthday, _he thought to himself with fake cheer.

The whole starting over a new life every 10 years or so had been interesting for a while, but to create relationships only to know that after a few more years, you could never again show your face to them (unless heavily disguised) worked on his psyche, and wore away at him.

Kaito's loneliness was astounding. To be lonely while constantly surrounded by people. His was utter, unchangeable isolation. There was one thing that pushed him on, however...that pushed him to each night, no matter how painful he knew said night would be.

For it was then that he would let his thoughts turn to Kudou Shinichi.

What had happened to him? He couldn't be alive still, right? After all, vampires are supernatural beings but they aren't…immortal, right? There were too many conflicting myths for him to convince himself one way or the other.

Nevertheless, even the faintest glimmer of hope that he, at least, that his detective…would still be alive…it kept him going. He knew unfounded hope could be dangerous, but he couldn't help it. It was what dragged him back from his darkest days, when he would have practically taken anything in exchange for death…finally, death... That sweet embrace…to be with his mother, his father, with his friends… to be around people who knew him, remembered him, people he had a history with, who knew the real Kuroba Kaito (he had a few names he would rotate through to make things somewhat more interesting-the current being Edogawa Conan)…

On several occasions, he had tried… tried to die. But it never worked. He would go underwater, breathe in, choke on the water and lack of air, but the choking wouldn't stop. Until he left the water, the horrible, constricting feeling of drowning would continue to press in on him. He wouldn't die, though. He'd just have to suffer until he pushed himself out. _So much for just being able to breathe underwater. At least I could have used that…_

It was the same with fire. If he stood in a raging flame, he would feel the pain of his skin burning, melting off and reforming...constant, incredible, horrible burning pain...but it did nothing. Cliffs? No. Pills? No. He was already aware enough of snipers...

All in all, life was miserable.

It was on his 115th birthday that he decided to return to Japan.

* * *

Thanks for reading! I hope you're liking it so far! Again, if possible, PLEASE take the time to review! I SO appreciate it!

Anyway, until next time!

mata ne~

tess4aria


	2. Chapter 2

_**Chapter 2: Rebirth**_

Thank you SO MUCH for the reviews, favorites, alerts...they mean so much! You guys are WONDERFUL.

And now...on with the story!

I do not own Meitantei Conan. I do, however, own Vincentio.

* * *

"How long are you planning on stalking me?"

"It isn't stalking, Shin-chan. I'm just escorting you until I see you safely to Ran-chan's abode!"

Rolling his eyes, the shrunken detective said, deadpanning, "Oi, you do realize I'm not actually 9 years old..."

"But Shin-chan, you know you attract dangerous people, and walking alone at night is..." The worry in his insistent voice suddenly became serious. "I don't know why, but I have a bad feeling about tonight...just let me see you in, please?"

At the pleading look in his eyes, Conan sighed but gave in. "Barou...you worry too much." In all honesty, however, he somewhat agreed with Kaito-he'd had the vague sense that someone had been watching him all evening.

"How about you? You're so damn easily distracted…give me a reason why I shouldn't be the one escorting _you _home. " He smirked at him, but Kaito quickly dropped down, moving close, the sudden heat of his breath making Conan's heart pound in his ears. "Pan...dor...a" he answered softly, a kind of ironic smile playing in his eyes.

Conan narrowed his eyes as he looked at Kaito. They hadn't brought up that fateful night's occurrences once since then... but the thought did comfort him. After all, if the gem could heal a bullet wound like that, it would be quite unlikely that some common criminal could cause him any lasting damage.

When they had arrived at the Mouri Detective Agency, Kaito turned to him and said "Well, Shin-chan, unfortunately I must take my leave...unless we want to answer some awkward questions about why there's a Shin-chan look-alike walking you home!"

Chuckling, Conan just walked ahead, waving back at Kaito with one hand.

"I'll call you tomorrow, okay?"

Smiling slightly while rolling his eyes, Conan turned around and said: "Yeah, yeah, I know. There's nothing to be done about you, huh?"

Laughing at the pout forming on the magician's face, Conan walked the rest of the way up the stairs to the agency before remembering... _Oh shit. I left my glasses and bow-tie at home...How could I be that stupid?_

Hesitating a minute, hand poised over the door-knob, he slipped back down the stairs to see if Kaito was still there. He wasn't.

Then suddenly, that feeling he'd had all day...that someone was watching him...hit him with full force. He took a step backwards toward the safety of the Mouri flat, but then froze. In the darkness, two shining hazel eyes caught his. He tried to say something, to move, but it was as if his body had been rendered senseless. His own control of it wrenched away, he couldn't turn his face from those eyes which seemed to pull at him, enticing him.

Slowly, he began to move forward away from the Mouris' and towards the little blinding beacons of light. The closer he got, the stronger the pull until he was practically running to reach his goal.

When he regained his senses, he was walking along through dark, unfamiliar woods, his hand held tightly in the iron grip of a tall, dark, imposing figure to his right. Eyes widening, he mustered all of his strength to try to wrench his hand from the death-grip.

The man turned to look down at him, vague surprise flashing through those unreal golden-hazel eyes before indifference washed over them. "You broke the spell? I suppose I chose well, then."

"Chose well? What is that supposed to mean, niisan?" Conan said in a sarcasm-coated quasi-child voice.

The man laughed lightly before stopping, turning and crouching down so quickly that Conan could only blink at him in surprise. "You intrigue me. Your appearance says one thing, but your eyes...and your smell...say something entirely different."

Conan wrinkled his nose. _Smell? What the hell is this freak getting on about?_

"Shall we see if your taste can clear things up for me?"

Before Conan could say anything, he was pulled forward in a vice-like grip. He could tell as the man touched him that his strength was unimaginable, that he was using only the very tip of it to hold him as a helpless prisoner. His eyes widened as he felt the man's breath on his neck. Then cold lips made contact, followed by the feeling of a tongue running up and down his jugular.

Conan thrashed, trying to rid himself of the dirty feeling coursing through him at this contact. He growled when he heard the man's laughter. "You're an amusing one, you are..." His voice was low...suddenly, a sharp pain plunged into him and a lightheaded, lethargic feeling overwhelmed him. He lost all power to fight the man, and worse...

He actually began to enjoy it. He was utterly at his mercy, connected to him by the spot on his neck...images began to flash through his head...first, of his own face, seen from above, blue eyes showing a superficial confidence trying to cover up his fear... a sense of fierce desire shot through him at the image...then the sensation of moving at breakneck speeds, of running across countries, swimming across oceans, this incredible power...ecstasy at freedom, fulfilled lust and also...loneliness, guilt, regret... Conan snapped back to himself at the familiar feelings. _Were those...this man's memories? His feelings? _

He felt entirely drained, but managed to look the man in the eyes, questioningly. Surprise and curiosity were obvious in the dark stranger's expression this time. Pulling out, he licked over the puncture wounds and smiled oddly down at Conan. "You broke through again. You broke the spell twice...and this time, during my feeding? You're special, all right, and I'm not talking about how you're actually an adult."

Conan's eyes widened in surprise and fear but then..._of course. If I saw his memories then he must have seen mine_... Vaguely, Conan became aware of the sharp pain on the side of his neck, and a deeper dull pain, increasing in severity and spreading... and the warm, sinister sensation of blood running freely down from the puncture wounds. His vision began to cloud as his consciousness began to waver.

"It's a waste..." The voice said quietly, and then said softly. "If I leave you, you'll die. But if you so choose, I guarantee that what I can give will override the effect of that drug."

At these words, Conan's consciousness jolted awake once again, and he struggled to meet the man's eyes.

"That's right. I'm saying you will regain your body. So what is it? Except my gift? Or die here in this form?"

The intimations of this 'gift' swirling in Conan's quickly weakening mind, he began to lose focus, but then soft laughter and violet eyes took over his thoughts. If he were to die, Kaito would never know...he would have to deal, once again, with the death of someone in his life to some unknown, sinister force... Suddenly, the desire to see Kaito again, to watch over him, overwhelmed him...he slowly nodded.

His vision was slipping away, but suddenly, wet skin was pressed up against his mouth, and soft words in his ears commanded him to drink. Confused, he parted his lips and sucked slightly.

With the first taste of the coppery substance, he felt his heart seize up. He tried to pull away, but the vampire pressed his wrist more forcefully to Conan's mouth, making the blood flow into him, until finally...

The weakness which had overwhelmed him, and that dull pain in his heart, began to register in his mind...as thirst... And suddenly all he knew was that this substance was taking away the pain, was giving him energy. He began to suck more forcefully, and it was as if the warm liquid flowed directly from the man's wrist into his veins. He continued to drink the life-sustaining, life-bestowing liquid, and he felt his body strengthening, filling up with a kind of insane ecstasy. Finally, the wrist was wrenched from him, but he reached out, willing it to return.

Amused, the man clicked his tongue. "Be patient, now. First things first. Your transformation."

His thought process, beginning to clear enough to wonder just what exactly was going on, was stopped suddenly as red-hot pain shot through him. He felt as if his heart might burst, but its speed was actually slowing...and how did he know that so clearly? His senses were going haywire. Everywhere his skin touched, he felt textures as if they were the most obvious things in the world. Blades of grass felt like knife-blades, and sounds...sounds were overwhelming him...an argument from god-knows how far away, car horns bleeping, night creatures cooing and whining...he pressed his hands against his ears to shut out the chaos…

Then a second shock-wave came, and a burning pain not so unfamiliar to him…as if his bones were melting…but this time, the pain was much more severe than any time he'd taken one of Haibara's temporary antidotes. His attempts to hold it in were useless, and he let out an anguished scream as his bones stretched, heart threatening to collapse on him…and he passed out.

The next thing he knew, the pain was gone.

Where before, his muscles and bones had ached in weakness and exhaustion, they felt…incredible wasn't strong enough. He felt this pulsating, limitless well of energy, of strength within him. He felt as if he could crush a rock face with ease…

He noticed he wasn't breathing. Panicking slightly, he willed himself, and his body obeyed, sliding back into its habitual functions…functions he no longer needed it to perform.

The next, truly overwhelming sensation…and once he attended to it, he was shocked he hadn't noticed before…was his sense of smell. Eyes still closed, he felt he could see, already, as well as if he were looking at a schematic of his surroundings. And he could hear…and feel…feel the rhythmic breathing of living beings all around him. They smelled so sweet. He couldn't help but smile as he finally opened his eyes.

He gasped. Slowly sitting up, he took in more and more of his surroundings. It was pitch-dark out here…he was aware of that, but to him… he had never seen so clearly. Every subtle, slight difference in texture, shade, form…he could pick them out and picture them perfectly. And his vision extended to what had to be over a hundred yards away. The world had a beautiful, sparkly look about it. Particularly, the living… a little opossum raced along, perhaps 200 feet in front of him, scurrying behind a tree. The instant he'd glimpsed it, his senses heightened even further, or rather they focused. His hands began to shake as every sound was blocked save for the quick little heartbeat of the animal.

"Go on," a voice to his right said. Momentarily knocking him out of his trance, he looked right to see the vampire, looking at him in what appeared to be satisfaction. Shinichi was vaguely aware that the beautiful, entrancing glow of the man's skin and eyes no longer appeared as such…he looked completely normal to him. He motioned toward the escaping animal, and Shinichi's instincts took over, the lovely rhythmic heartbeat, and the smell…that sweet, flowery smell enticing him… in an instant, he had it in his hands, and just as it had occurred to him he didn't know how to access the sweet life-drink, he felt sharp pains in his mouth.

Running his tongue over the newly sprouted fangs, he felt somewhat panicky, but then the smell of the little animal's blood brought him back…or rather, stole him away again…and he plunged into its neck, sucking in, tasting the delicious, pulsating drink which flowed through and empowered him… He stopped, and his eyes widened in horror. The little animal was silent and unmoving in his hands. His little bug-eyes glassy and dull.

A sudden, horrible awareness hit him. He had done this. He had just killed…had just murdered an innocent little being and he was…

Beginning to shake, Shinichi looked at his hands…lean, adult hands, though in his current state, that was hardly what occupied his mind…he brought his hands up and touched the fangs in his mouth. He felt momentary pain as his finger was pricked. He stared in fascination and horror as the wound instantly closed up on itself, the little droplet of blood threatening to fall. Before he could stop himself, he brought his finger to his mouth and sucked on it, savoring the taste.

Furiously yanking his hands down, he made fists and his eyes fell again on the innocent creature he'd just killed. Gently, he picked it up, cradling it in his arms, holding it to his chest as if it were a protective charm that could stop this from happening again…

Cold laughter from behind. "Hope you're not really this upset about that little rodent."

Spinning on the spot, still cradling the little creature protectively, Shinichi hissed, instinctually baring his fangs.

The vampire laughed. "Now, now. Don't be too hasty to make enemies among your own kind, Shinichi-kun. After all, I'm the only person you have to learn from…and here's your first lesson. Don't get attached. When the thirst strikes, there's nothing you can do about it, and you _will _do something about it. Start collecting all the little corpses you produce and you'll have a mountain of decaying flesh in no time."

Shinichi said nothing, but simply glared, letting his nails sink further and further into his arms, breaking the flesh which instantly re-grew.

With great effort, he willed himself not to bend down and lick up the enticing trails of blood now running down his arms…to do so seemed like giving into the smirking man before him.

"What have you done to me?" Shinichi asked hoarsely.

"You made the decision. Surely you were aware of it…you're a detective, after all," he sneered. "So do you want information, or don't you? You're stuck this way, either way. Sorry, but I'm afraid I can't kill you anymore…and unfortunately, neither can you kill me."

Shinichi's glare increased but he willed himself to calm down. Even if he hated it, unless this were a dream, he was undeniably…different now. And this man did have information he desperately needed if that were truly the case. Gritting his teeth, he slumped down against a tree, gently setting the dead animal behind him.

"Good boy," the vampire smirked. He crouched down before Shinichi and placed his hands together as if considering how to begin. "First things first, I suppose. My name is Vincentio De Luca."

"You're Italian?" He asked, slightly bemused that such an obvious human identifier could be telling of a vampire as well.

"I was Italian when I was born as a human," he corrected. "That was over 300 years ago."

Shinichi silently let this fact wash over him. _Three hundred years…just how long do vampires live? And what does that mean for...?_

"We don't die, child," he said softly.

Shinichi's eyes shot up in shock, teeming with questions.

Vincentio answered the simplest first. "I can read your mind because I am, in a sense, your father, your creator. Vampires, while not normally social creatures, do have the occasional need for companionship. The natural bond between fledglings such as yourself and the one to bring them over is strong, and telepathy is among the traits which emerge between them."

Again, he let this new burst of information settle as he plunged at something which piqued his curiosity. "Why did you call me that? A fledgling... Vampires, as you say we are, don't have wings…"

"Oh, but there you are wrong, little detective," A hint of humor ringing Vincentio's voice as he said it. "However, we are not born with fully grown wings. It takes many years for them to take shape enough to reveal themselves. Usually around 100 years, but…who knows? It may take less, in your case. You seem to be adjusting quite quickly, afterall."

Vincentio smirked at the doubtful and challenging expression on Shinichi's face. Standing up, his face stiffened in concentration, and suddenly, a vast expanse of black feathers, veritable black angel wings, sprouted from his back.

Shinichi stared in awe, forgetting momentarily that he wanted to rip this vampire's head from his torso.

"Want me to show you what it's like?"

Before Shinichi could say anything else, he was grabbed around the waist and was shooting up into the night sky. The speed was incredible, and in mere seconds, they were passing through a nest of clouds. The exhilaration of flying this way was so freeing and shocking that as he looked down from this amazing height, he let a smile creep onto his face.

"Nice, isn't it? This is an example of the strength we get from human blood."

The grin on Shinichi's face dropped instantly and he spun around so quickly to face the man holding him that he almost dropped him.

"I will NEVER touch a human," he growled in a low, threatening voice he had never realized he had before.

Vincentio eyed him with a mixture of exasperation and pity. "You will, Shinichi-kun. There is nothing you can do about it."

"That animal back there was enough for me," he shot back hotly. "I will not hurt a human."

The vampire gripped him, still hovering high above the Tokyo lights, and looked him in the eyes searchingly. "Were you really satisfied? Can you honestly tell me you don't desire anything more? You remember the feeling-the draw of the bloodlust." He continued when Shinichi didn't deny it.

"When a human comes before you, the desire will be heightened a hundred-no, a thousand-fold…after all, humans are our natural prey…when that happens, I'm afraid the last vestiges of your human will will be of no help to you. Particularly if you haven't fed recently...and I'm not talking about rats."

Shinichi searched the man's face for a hint of an exaggeration, of a lie, but found none...As the full impact of the words hit him, Shinichi began to frantically shake his head. _No, no, no, no, no… _He chanted it over and over again in his head as if it would protect him from himself…protect everyone else from _him_…

Vincentio sighed, looking at him with an old, dulled sadness in his eyes. "I am afraid I can't understand… at one point I would have but it's been too long. All I can say is that for your own good, you better get used to the idea…and as quickly as possible. Putting it off will only lead to an outright massacre. Any control you might have had to stop at family members, at friends, will be ripped from you. So listen to me before you make a mistake you can't correct."

For a long while, Shinichi just stared into space, but he _couldn't_. Stopping murderers was what he lived for, dammit! He...he couldn't turn into one... _but you are one. It's what you are now, a_ sinister voice in his head sneered. He shook his head to clear it of these thoughts.

As they lowered, approaching the ground, the stimuli of the city began to overwhelm his senses. Glancing across town at a clock tower he could see with his heightened vision, he saw that it was 3:30am. This was perhaps the hour he'd expect the least activity in this city where he lived, and yet...already, he was beginning to see what Vincentio meant. The city felt like a giant heartbeat. And all around him, unsuspecting humans with delicious, fresh, sweet blood. They would barely feel a thing, and of course could do nothing to stop him...

Shinichi made a slight roar of frustration, crouching and punching a hole in the sidewalk to vent, to try to reclaim his mind as his own, to steal it back from the fucking bloodlust...

He stood there, breathing slowly to relax, but quickly realized that made it worse. Even not breathing, however, the pressure of this foreign desire continued to build up until it seemed about to suffocate him.

Feeling broken, he reluctantly looked up at his teacher, for lack of a better word. "What can I do?" He croaked out, waiting for a snide response.

None came, however. Rather, the touch on his back was surprisingly gentle, supportive. Vincentio picked him up and took off into the sky again, peering around for a good target. Smiling slightly, he stroked Shinichi's hair, noticing the look in his eyes which screamed of incredible thirst, of excrutiating bloodlust. Honestly, it was shocking the new vampire had gone as long as he had without human blood. The first night was always difficult, and fledglings were notorious for having a great deal of trouble restraining themselves. Most took off in a manic trance within the first 20 minutes, but this one... he had some kind of self-control, alright.

In his time ever since his second birth, as he liked to think of it, he had made only one child before this one, and that was a disaster. It was almost immediately after he turned, and he'd held onto his human life, clutching to his memories, the people...

He found the woman he'd once been engaged to with someone else...and he drained him in front of her. She was terrified, and began to claw at him, scream, and in the process, scratched herself. With her fresh blood pouring out like that, he couldn't help himself. He'd taken her, but he couldn't stand to have her disappear like that...and so he'd made the choice to bring her over.

She lasted five years before she killed herself the only way vampires can-by standing in the middle of the hottest dessert, naked, until the sun finally burned her body apart.

Ever since that first tragic episode, he had been extremely hesitant to form close bonds with anyone, and had never considered making another.

But this boy. Something about him struck him as different. Vincentio truly believed that vampires were not an irredeemible species. With their near-immortality, and the knowledge of the ages, fine vision, sensitivity and talent, they should have potential for great things...if only one were to come along who could tame that spirit, make it work for him rather than he himself working for the vampiric instincts.

Whether this odd little brilliant mortal could become the kind of vampire he'd secretly dreamed of, he wasn't sure. But somehow, something about this child softened him when he'd never before given a second glance to his victimes...

Something in him understood what he needed, and wanted to help him, but he could only help him so far. It was with this in mind that he picked his pupil's first victim. Slowly lowering, he took the now glassy-eyed and practically lost-to-bloodlust young vampire and, directing his head with his hands, pointed at a burly 30-something-year-old. "Look at him, and look into him. Look into his heart. What do you see?"

As if in a trance, Shinichi responded "He smells like sweat-not his own...younger...and blood, again, not his own...of several children... yet there is no hint of remorse, no guilt...only sexual desire as he searches for his next victims." Suddenly, Shinichi's eyes widened, and he looked back at Vincentio in realization, his human detective reasoning bringing a smile to his face. "You found me a serial rapist?"

Vincentio smiled at the obvious appreciation. It was kind of sad, actually, but he just responded, "I figured it would be easier for you this way. That man would get the death penalty, anyway, and you'll just be saving the lives of countless children with your act. Remember, this is something we do out of necessity."

His human side being convinced just enough to let the new, stronger instincts take control, Shinichi flew from Vincentio's strong grip, landing noiselessly behind the rapist. A grin spreading on his face, he began to stalk him. The man whirled around, but saw nothing. "What's wrong?" Shinichi smirked from the opposite side. "Too bad you didn't see me earlier today. I would have been much more your type."

The man just gawked at him in confusion before pulling out a gun. Slowly, just savoring the smell of the man's fear, Shinichi took even steps closer to the man. The gun rang out, and Shinichi grimaced slightly before the hole closed up. Pain now gone, he grinned at the man. The high-pitch scream the large man let out tugging on Shinichi's lips, he decided it was time to shut him up, that he'd satisfy his bloodlust at last. One hand pressed over the man's lips, he listened to the rhythm of his arteries, revelling in the music before plunging his fangs into the large neck.

The burst of sweetness that hit him was unlike anything he'd tasted before. The sensation unlike anything he'd felt. Ecstasy spread through him as he sucked, the taste so different, so perfectly right. His body was tingling with energy, satisfaction. As he tasted him, even this man who had seemed so evil before seemed like nothing more than a lost child to Shinichi. Gently, he stroked him, calming him as he continued to drink from him, doing his best to keep the man from any undo suffering. He could see into him as he drank...past the recent murders into his past, a past the man himself had denied and repressed to the point where he could no longer remember that his tendencies were due to his own rape as a seven-year old. Drained completely, Shinichi let the man down slowly, gently, stroking his face as he turned to walk back to the other vampire, the blood still pumping through him like a drug, a source of endless optimism.

"How was that?"

"You did well," Vincentio replied, aware that this mood was not to be taken seriously. The boy was totally drunk on blood, having fulfilled his bloodlust after such deprivation. "Now come on, Shinichi-kun, let's get you come."

Shinichi's smile lasted throughout most of the flight, during which he found it in his blood-drunk heart to forgive the vampire who had cursed him, pressing himself into him, yawning...

By the time they landed in front of the Kudou mansion, this had worn off, and Shinichi was horrified, reliving both the act he'd committed and the obsequious behavior he'd been showing towards the vampire. Glancing around nervously, he quickly unlocked the door and led the other in.

Vincentio toured the house, making approving little noises every so often before settling with Shinichi in the library. "Honestly, you can't do much better than a place like this for beings like us."

At Shinichi's raised eyebrow, Vincentio continued. "You'll find that a comfortable place to reside is something dearly desired by our kind. As too many dead people in a certain area leads to suspicion, we rarely settle in one place for long..."

At these words, the reality of the situation flew back to hit him, and he flinched.

Not noticing, or more likely, choosing not to acknowledge Shinichi's slight spasm, Vicentio continued. "It is luxurious, not too bright...though I suggest you switch the curtains. They will make it too miserable come daytime."

"Wait...I thought we couldn't be awake in the daytime," Shinichi broke in, curiosity overtaking him once again.

"You'll realize quickly how much of the popular folklore is questionable at best. We can be awake at any time, but we do better at night. Direct sunlight, however, can hurt us, so if you must go out in the daylight, make sure you have yourself properly covered. Otherwise..." his expression darkened, but Shinichi just nodded, deciding not to pry.

Despite the hatred part of him felt for Vicentio for landing him in this situation in the first place, he had to admit that the older vampire seemed to be more than just a cold-hearted killer. Little as he wanted to admit it, he had needed someone to instruct him, and he grudgingly appreciated some of what the man had shown him. It seemed as if he had done more than was necessary, or at least, more than one could expect every vampire to do for his new fledgling.

Shinichi blushed as he noticed the surprised and soft look on the man's face as he looked at him. _Oh shit! He can read my mind!_

Laughing softly, Vincentio said "Why don't I show you how to block your thoughts from intruders?"

His surprised look turning to a scowl, Shinichi said "Oi, is that what you've been doing and why I haven't heard your thoughts? You could have mentioned that earlier," he grumbled at the satisfied smirk on the other vampire's face.

Taking Shinichi up on his offer to stay in the mansion that night, he took off the next evening, giving Shinichi information about a few prime locations where there were vampire-friendly spots...He himself lived in a particular one in Venice.

"I hope you can manage without this information until your fledgling stage is half-over," he cautioned.

"Which means...?"

"Normally you are considered a fledgling for the first century after your tranformation. Any fledgling turning up at a gathering place or seeking out the one who turned them within the first fifty years is...not looked on kindly by others of our kind, I'll just say."

"Why the hell would I care about that?"

"Because they're brutal, Shinichi," he said seriously, pleading with him with his eyes. "Odd though it may seem to you, there is a strict status quo when it comes to certain aspects of our way of living...to be perfectly honest, I took a risk when I made you. It is one of the greatest offenses to make one so young as you appeared when I took you. If you hadn't transformed, they would have come after me."

"Why did you take that risk, then?"

He didn't respond right away. "Several reasons, though some I'm not sure of. I suppose I felt drawn to you. You interested me, but also..." He trailed off. "Anyway, Shinichi-kun. I need to leave now, but remember...don't deprive yourself. Avoid much contact with humans until you're sure of your self-control."

"You have to leave already? What if I..."

"Although part of me wants to say fuck them and stay here in your comfotable house, I believe you'll be fine. Your...self-control... is something I've almost never seen before. I'm certain you'll get through this trial."

And with that, he was gone, the end of his black shawl whipping around the door as he left.

* * *

There's chapter 2~! SORRY FOR THE LACK OF KAI-chan in this chapter... I know...*tear* but he'll be back! I promise! I couldn't forget about Shinichi's perspective though, could I? Anyway, thanks for reading! I really hope you liked it! :D

Again, thank you so much for your reviews, and please review here, as well! :D

_tess4aria_


	3. Chapter 3

_**Chapter 3: Light and Darkness**_

Let me first say THANK YOU to my wonderful, wonderful reviewers and readers! You guys are so incredible, and really push me on!

So, here is another Shin-perspective chapter...aka, darkness and angst a-plenty. I honestly had some trouble writing this, but I hope you like it anyway! I would appreciate any comments/ tips/ feelings you have about it, how I might improve it. Thanks so much!

I do not own meitantei conan~ [sad face]

_**Please R&R~!**_

* * *

oOo

It seemed like mere minutes had passed since Vincentio had taken off that the first wave hit Shinichi. Without the distraction of company, he suddenly found himself utterly alone...with his thoughts and his thirst. As the powerful, insistent desire began to tug painfully at his heart, he determinedly shoved it away, willing it to hide in the recesses of his mind. Gritting his teeth and forming his hands into tight fists in frustration, he began to pace back and forth in the entryway.

His agitated movements were interrupted by the phone, its ringing piercing to his now highly sensitive ears.

Frozen to the spot, Shinichi just eyed the phone warily, letting it go to the answering machine. A familiar bright, enthusiastic voice piped up from the box:

"_Hey, Shin-chan~! I tried calling you earlier, but no luck…hope you aren't avoiding me! You never did master that coin trick, you know…anyway, I'll call again tomorrow! Hope occhan doesn't drink himself under the table and make you sleep on the couch tonight! You know you can always stay with me if that happens! Okay, byez!"_

A sharp, clenching pain shot through Shinichi as he heard his friend's innocent voice, his innocent words, his overall innocence of the situation. Like a horrible force wrenching him from stable ground, he felt, clearly, just how separate their worlds would have to be now... Kaito, who so firmly believed in no one getting hurt... Kaito, who was practically light incarnate, who lived in a self-created world of laughter and love, always fighting back his own dark shadows and difficult past... Slowly and surely, he'd worked his way into Shinichi's broken life, pulling him from his own pain, out of his own inner darkness, his loneliness…before he'd realized it, he'd begun to depend on that light, begun to feel that maybe his life could be fun again. On those days they'd spent together, despite the fact that he'd been trapped as Conan, he'd felt normal, happy, able to forget his troubles and just relax…

But now…it could never be that way again. He wasn't normal, could not pretend to be normal, and there was no way to reverse things this time. He knew the magician well enough to know that he would likely try to barge in anyway, to try to impose his optimism into his life, but it was useless. The absurdity of it aside, the reality of this new life seemed undeniable. And it was a life full of darkness, a darkness so absolute that even Kaito wouldn't be able to fix it. _After all,_ he let out a cold, hollow laugh as he thought it, what _can I do now but drain away lifeforce? I'm like a parasite, sucking the blood and hopes from living things_... As these dark thoughts continued to swell in him, he became certain that by trying to continue any relationship with Kaito, he would inevitably drain his light, drain his optimism and hope for life, drain his…he shuddered at the thought.

It couldn't be true, could it? That he wouldn't be able to stop himself, even around loved ones? _But he did say I have uncommon self-control, so maybe… _Even as this passed his mind, though, Shinichi realized it was likely wishful thinking to the point of being dangerously, carelessly optimistic.

A pounding in his head and that same dull pain in his chest didn't help him think more optimistically, and he began pacing again, trying to work things through. _I'm alone now. I don't have that vampire feeding me information, telling me what to do. I should be able to figure something out…_Then it struck him. _Blood vials! If I...if I could use them, I wouldn't have to take human life...__Maybe I could ask Haibara…_

He had barely let his mind settle on thoughts of the shrunken scientist when a beating, wrenching sensation in his chest stole him away. He was suddenly distinctly aware of her presence in the neighboring residence. Her light little heartbeat was slightly agitated, as if something were weighing on her mind. Nearby, another strong heartbeat with its own ample scent-a familiar presence Shinichi instantly registered as his older friend.

Automatically, Shinichi slipped from his living room window and stealthily climbed across the fence and up the wall to peer in at the two. Though their window was shut securely, he could hear their quiet conversation. He watched them, fixated, his mouth beginning to water as Haibara's veins constricted in worry.

"-if they got him…"

"You don't mean…but Ai-kun, you guys already dealt with the organization."

"Hakase, you are as aware as I am that destroying the main members and taking down the heart of an organization like that doesn't mean rogue members wouldn't still be around. If one particularly loyal straggler found him, he wouldn't have hesitated to kill him on sight."

Agasa gulped. "Don't talk that way, Ai-kun. This is Shinichi we're talking about. He can take care of himself, I mean…"

"Maybe so, but the way Mouri-chan's been carrying on ever since Kudou-kun didn't show up last night, even if he is safe, she'll just be putting herself and him in more danger if she continues this way."

"I see what you mean. So what do you think, Ai-kun? Should we tell Ran-chan we know where he is-make up some alibi until we can contact him?"

"That may be for the best," Haibara began-"

"That won't be necessary." The two froze and turned at the familiar voice, laced with a quality they had never heard in it before. Predatory, you could call it. It was very unsettling.

"Shi-Shinichi!" Hakase smiled and ran towards him, but as if waking from a trance, Shinichi's eyes suddenly shot up to meet his and jumped back to press against the far wall more quickly than the human eye could see, looking terrified.

"Shinichi, what's wrong?" Hakase's voice had immediately flooded with affectionate concern, though his relief at seeing his young friend was still undeniable.

Shinichi just shook his head, lips pressed firmly together, looking nervously between the two.

"Kudou-kun, what did you drink to turn back this time? Shochu should have outworn its effectiveness long ago." Haibara began to approach him to begin the interrogation and he flinched, moving further away.

"Stay back! Don't come near me!" The two scientists stopped stock-still, shocked by the almost hysterical tone of his voice.

Narrowing her eyes, but stopping nonetheless, Haibara spoke once she noticed Shinichi calm down significantly. "Okay, Kudou-kun, we'll stay back. I suppose it would be too much to ask for you to tell us what is going on? Why exactly you need your space?"

His face extremely tense, breathing neither through his nose or mouth, Shinichi just nodded. Haibara narrowed her eyes further at him, crossing her arms.

"Shinichi," Agasa tried, at a loss at the helplessly pained and confused expression on his young friend's face. "You know you can trust us with anything…it's obvious something has happened and you're trying to protect us, but please. Just tell us something."

Shinichi said through gritted teeth, "Hakase…tell Ran that Conan has gone back to live with his mother, and please, she can't see me…at least not right now. So…"

"But Shinichi, if you're back, it's going to be quite hard to keep Ran-kun away from you," Hakase said. "Just who is it you need to protect her from this time?"

His eyes blazing with some kind of indescribable pain, Shinichi said "It's nobody, it's...no, it's me, Hakase. None of you are safe right now…I-I have to go…please don't try to see me."

And with that, he flew from the house, leaving two very shocked and worried scientists in his wake. Hakase sighed… "Ran-kun's not going to be happy to hear this…" Slowly, he picked up the phone to call her. Haibara just stared at the spot where Shinichi had been standing seconds before, his drastic mood swings and the look in his eyes and…something she couldn't quite put her finger on…turning over in her mind.

"What have you fallen into this time, Kudou-kun?" She sighed. Eyes suddenly widening, she remembered an odd glinting in his mouth when he'd first materialized. She shook her head. This required more research.

Shinichi didn't stop running until he'd plunged into a deep forest which cut him off, for the most part, from the tantalizing scents of the city. His mind was racing in anger, frustration, pain, but all overshadowed, momentarily, by the insistent, demanding thirst. The thought of how close he'd come, how he'd found himself in Agasa-hakase's without any memory of how he'd gotten there, was haunting him, terrifying him. So much for restraint. At least he hadn't…

Unable to bear it any further, he swooped down on a raccoon wandering unluckily past him, draining it in an instant. Frowning, but admittedly feeling a little more sane, he continued his night prowl, continuing to take three squirrels and a vole…

He felt as if he'd won a slight victory as he returned home, thinking that he had, afterall, managed not to take human life this evening. _It isn't as fulfilling, but it's worth it if I can get by this way… maybe I can even pretend to be normal if I get used to doing this really early and…_

When he crawled into bed, it was only around 2:30am, but he was determined not to remain conscious for another minute…despite himself, his thirst had returned. Almost as if he hadn't sated it at all with those animals. Tossing and turning, he finally dozed off, but his dreams tormented him.

_Familiar, warm laughter filled him, washing away his insecurities and fears, pulling him in, lending him an insuppressible warmth. Incredible joy and desire flooded him as he felt warmth of the laughter-filled breath brush his ears, wet warmth gently biting down, kissing him. Shinichi embraced the warm body before him, smiling and laughing as he pressed his face into the crook of his neck._

_The tantalizing aroma of the man's flesh, and coursing beneath it, that elixir which held the source of his hopes and dreams, the power behind that irrepressible laughter…with each kiss, each laugh, he pressed ever closer, ever more within reach. So loving, welcoming. Shinichi smiled as he bit through the soft, warm flesh which gave so openly, so freely to him…letting him in so easily to the vast secrets of his being, circulating in his astonishing biological rhythm._

_As he felt the blood work through him, his desire for the being and the body before him increased exponentially, and he pressed into him, crushing him to him, wanting nothing more than this person's totality to be his. As the young man slackened under his grip, Shinichi rubbed him gently, lovingly, finally pulling from his neck to deliver kisses down his body, savoring the quickly-fading warmth before plunging up to capture his lips in his own. He smiled up to look into the glassy, lifeless eyes…those lifeless indigo eyes…_

Shinichi shot up, shaking and retching, barely able to suppress a scream. The horrible significance of that dream drove a horrific, sharp pain through his heart. Beyond the horror of what he'd done in the dream, however, was an additional disturbing fact...he woke to find his body aroused by it… Utterly sickened by himself, Shinichi violently tore into the bathroom to take a long, cold shower.

Collapsing in the stall, he began to bang his head against the wall, dark red tears falling from his eyes, rolling down the wall, staining it. He watched the red trail in trance-like fascination. _Why? How could I dream about that, I…I could never hurt him, I…_

He relaxed slightly as he realized that thoughts of Kaito did not immediately render him hopelessly bloodthirsty as had been the case yesterday with Haibara…though her proximity likely had to do with that, he pushed that to the back of his mind, clinging to the feeble hope that he would not be able to hurt Kaito…_dreams are different, aren't they?_

As he stepped out of the shower, he was suddenly immobilized by a wave of that horrible thirst stronger than any he'd felt before…as if that dream had been a fantasy to carry him through the night, but now…his attempts to ignore his bodily needs had come back to take him completely, and like a ghost, he moved to his room, conscious enough of the sun shining outside to pull on a long-sleeved hooded jacket and long pants before flying through the front door, throwing himself frantically in a direction he knew was frequented by very seedy characters.

Every human he passed as he ran tugged at him, calling him, inviting him, but he pushed on as if for dear life, forcing himself not to stop else his nightmares become reality.

_There_. Two people were in a struggle up ahead. A female, blood pounding quickly, the smell of fear radiating off in bucketfuls, running from another human, blood pounding in anticipation, his scent dirtied slightly by what was clearly alcohol.

Smiling, Shinichi relaxed, submitting to his body as his target came into sight. In a single motion, he swept the terrified girl in his arms, depositing her on the other end of the alley, quickly telling her to run as he turned to focus all his greedy attention on the stupid, angry man stomping up to him. "So willing," Shinichi said as he slipped easily to stand inches from the man, smiling at the confused blinks of his prey, no doubt wondering how he moved so quickly… Shinichi reached up and stroked the tall man's face with one hand, smiling more widely as the man unsuccessfully tried to wrench away from him.

"Don't be scared. I promise this will hurt much less than what you were planning on doing to that woman," he said quietly, the smile fading as his eyes took back a little more human sanity. Slowly, he pulled the shocked and struggling man's neck to him, and drawing his fangs, plunged in. Once again, the sensation was so heavenly, so indescribable. He savored the wonder of the painless death he was bestowing, as if delivering him in sleep, feeling as he watched the man's rough life pass through his mind as if he were some kind of final judge, seeing through him to the truth of his life, assuring him as he died that someone understood...

Letting him down, gently, he noticed he could finally think normally. Unlike the previous night, when the thirst was so obviously always waiting right below the surface despite his denial of it, he felt confident that for a little while, now, he would be in control.

The sun was now setting, and he let down his hood as he left the alley, deciding to walk a little, the early evening breeze a comforting sensation on his face.

It hadn't hit him before just how much more beautiful the world seemed after a feeding. His senses heightened, everything stood out in stark contrast, so clear to him, and the humans which no longer tempted him so terribly looked each like otherworldly, delicate works of art, their soft, fragile skin and bones glistening. He suddenly felt the odd desire to weep for the beauty of it all, and to weep that those around him couldn't see things this way, could not see the true beauty around them-the true beauty of themselves.

As the lingering high-on-blood effects of the drink wore off, Shinichi continued to wander the streets, but began to think more seriously about the facts at present. The absurd bloodlust when he woke, and that horrible nightmare…could they have been due to his fasting the night before? He didn't want to admit it, but it was quite clear that was the case. Only one night of denying his body what it wanted came back to make it nearly impossible for him to stop himself the next time... He felt himself drifting into hopeless despair as a very familiar and somewhat frantic voice rang out behind him.

"Shinichi?"

He froze_. No, not her. Not now. _But he suddenly felt a light grip on his arm (which, he realized, probably only felt light to him), and he slowly turned to meet familiar eyes demanding answers.

"Oh, hey, Ran."

She flinched a little before glaring. "'Oh, hey, Ran?' Is that all you have to say to me after you've been gone all this time? You idiot, Shinichi! I've been so worried! I thought you were…and then, Agasa-Hakase called and told me Conan-kun left to go back to America and I'm…" Shinichi's heart panged as his first love and child-hood friend began to shake. Before he could respond, however, she had thrown herself against him, hugging him around the middle, quivering as she buried her face in his chest, beginning to silently cry.

Shinichi gently brought one arm to rest lightly on her back, but then he froze. At such close proximity, her shallow whimpering was overshadowed by the pounding beat of her heart, the blood pumping through her veins. Shinichi shook his head roughly, angrily. He'd already fed, for fuck's sakes! How could this feeling be back already?

Ran pulled back at the stiffening of the body beneath hers. "Shi-Shinichi? Are you okay? You aren't sick, are you? You're um…really cold…" She trailed off as she met his eyes. Something about the way he was looking at her made her shiver.

"Ran, I'm-I'm sorry…don't come see me anymore, okay?"

"Shinichi, what? Don't come see you? What's wrong? You can tell me!"

"No, Ran." His voice suddenly took on a colder tone, and he looked her straight on, aware of how much he was about to hurt her. _But it's for her own good_… "I don't want to see you anymore. I'm sorry, but I can't return your feelings, and I need you to leave me alone."

She looked as if she'd been struck in the head, just staring at him in disbelief. "No…I know you're lying," she began softly, then meeting his eyes with a blazing expression. "I know you're lying, Shinichi! The Shinichi I know wouldn't say something like that!" She began to sniffle, but he just pushed on.

"I'm not the same Shinichi, Ran! I've moved on. There's nothing you can do to change it, and I can't see you anymore, so please…Just stay away from me!"

Ran backed up a step, but then gritted her teeth and smacked his face, glaring at him with tears in her eyes. "Shinichi, I don't believe you! Stop hiding from me, dammit!" And with that, she hugged him again, accidentally scraping off a band-aid on her arm as she did so.

The smell of her blood rushed to his head instantaneously, and he felt himself giving in, leaning into her hug. She was so comforting, so warm. Maybe she would accept him if he told her… he opened his eyes inches from her neck and pulled away from her so quickly he didn't make any effort to disguise his inhuman speed.

Ran's eyes were wide as she looked at him, consious of the terrified, hungry look on his face, the way he had moved, the tingling goosebumps on her neck where he had been breathing seconds before… and suddenly, he was gone, and she suddenly had an inexplicable feeling he would never be coming back. Not really, anyway.

Feeling utterly broken, Shinichi did the only thing he knew would calm him, the only thing that might keep away the nightmares…he returned to that same part of town, and took another victim… then, feeling dirty, monstrous, he returned to his house. Crossing the threshold, he was disturbed to smell signs of someone having entered. _Haibara_…

Her smell was everywhere…At least it seemed that after two (the thought made his self-hatred well up in absurd proportions) feedings, her scent didn't tempt him much at all. He followed the obvious trails to the kitchen, where there was a note on the fridge.

_You'll probably be angry, but you didn't do much to hide it…I don't know if these will help any, but I've left them in your fridge. Let me know if you need more._

Eyes widening, Shinichi slowly pulled open the fridge to see several containers of dark red liquid. His heart jumped a little. If this could work…but no…he knew it wouldn't be enough, but maybe it could help. "Thanks, Haibara," he said as he took one container out and took a small swig. It wasn't supremely fulfilling, but it still tasted good, and he could tell such tactics could be used in emergencies. Sealing it back up and returning it to its place in the fridge, he dragged himself up the stairs, trying not to think about what the next day would bring.

That night, he didn't dream, and the next morning, his thirst was a little more bearable, proving his assumptions…this didn't thrill him, however, only serving to support his fear that he really couldn't avoid human blood less he really turn into a slaughterer of everything living.

And thus began his horrible routine. Each day was filled with self-hatred and fear, of his constantly thinking about how he almost hurt Ran, how he so easily could have killed her. Drinking the vials Haibara continued to supply him upon waking, he would wait until it got late enough that he could avoid as many innocents as possible and then, almost in a trance-like state, he would leave, gorging first on any little rats around before seeking out the worst criminal he could find before his inhibitions left him.

Still, however, temptation was everywhere. After his run-in with Ran, he had to deal with her coming over almost every day, either alone or with friends. Though Haibara did her best to stop her, her stubbornness usually won out in the end…Locking himself in his room, cradling a vial of blood against his chest, he would attempt to ignore the temptation which lay behind every knock on the door…

He hadn't had to deal with that horrible dream since that night…his fear of it, of seeing Kaito of all people having to suffer because of his…situation…was great enough to push him to continue to seek out new victims each night, though of course that tore him apart with every successive incident. To make it worse, Kaito continued to leave innocently unaware phone messages, messages which made Shinichi increasingly aware of the life he could no longer have any part of...

He had somewhat resigned himself to this self-imposed isolation surprisingly quickly. After all, self-hatred, guilt, the need to hide...these feelings weren't all that unfamiliar to him, though admittedly he'd never felt them in such awesome proportions...But what he wasn't prepared for was what happened that day...

It was perhaps a week since his transformation, give or take. He'd honestly lost track of time…

From dreamless sleep, he felt himself waking as if into a dream. Waking to consciousness by a soft, unbelievable warmth. Soft, affectionate…and the flavor behind the touch…unlike anything he'd ever sensed. It occurred to him to reach forward and drain this lovely being in one delicious gulp, but something stopped him. A powerful clutching in his heart, which wouldn't let him despite how obviously right it would taste. How his heart would rejoice to fuse with that lovely, magical liquid.

In a single instant, his heart caught as a horror-filled premonition hit him. Just who this was before him, offering himself so affectionately to him, must be...his eyes flipping open, his worst fears were confirmed, and he felt anger...anger at Kaito's lack of self-preservation, for not understanding the danger this put him in, and the deepest hatred for himself, for even entertaining such horrible, lusting desires. He had to scare him. He had to prove to this precious being before him-this being he couldn't see hurt-that he had to leave him alone.

Even as he growled harsh words at him, he found himself weakening, losing himself in those beautiful eyes. Despite the roughness and venom he'd tried to throw at him, Kaito moved closer, reaching up to him...the touch of Kaito's warm, living hand on his cheek made a feeling of excrutiating desire, mixed with incredible affection, wash over him. Terrified, terrified that any further contact would render him senseless, unable to stop himself, he threw the hand away from him, as gently as he could while concentrating on how he could keep from hurting him...

But those eyes, flooding with hurt, with pain... they caught him..._why can't you understand? You can't be around me. I'm a monster and you're so pure...so perfect..._

His body was yearning, screaming, aching for him…yet though this sensation seemed impossible to quiet, as he looked at him, sanity returned… as if those Indigo orbs had some equalizing force, some secret power.

He felt as if he were walking on eggshells, but he found himself able to speak gently, to breath without lunging as he carefully pushing the magician down the stairs, soaking in his beautiful presence as he left him at the door.

Shinichi was perfectly aware that Kaito returned every night after, that he had managed to figure out what time he would leave most nights, yet unlike the others who tried to pry their ways into his life...to figure out what was wrong with him, in which cases he felt angry-_why don't they understand? This is for their own good!...i_n Kaito's case, it was different, somehow. The lust he felt when he smelled his blood…_his blood_…though he found the smell somehow sweeter, more overwhelming than the others'…he never did lunge…Furthermore, he actually desired to keep Kaito within reasonable distance, but he didn't feel the horrible certainty that he was putting him in danger as he did so. It was as if only he…only Kaito could help him to contain his sanity, retain his humanity…

Each night, after sneaking past where Kaito would be stubbornly perched, waiting for him, he would sniff around for the most evil, most remorseless humans he could find…in an odd, horrible way, it hit him, he was acting as a detective, finding the culprits of crimes before, or as, or after they were committed. Each time he promised himself he would leave them weakened, that he wouldn't kill them…but once he was close, the bloodlust would take over and drunk in ecstasy and blind desire, he wouldn't usually feel totally himself again until he was back in his room…

So even his detective work had been sullied, made dirty, evil, by this absurd new life. It was as if the gods were playing some grand joke on him… murderer of murderers, he'd become… yet he was aware, constantly, that one slip and he could be worse…

Kaito's stubborn persistence was practically the only thing which could bring anything close to a semblance of a smile to Shinichi's face. Without the overwhelming sense of danger for his friend, he found it somewhat amusing to see the reversal of their old cat-and-mouse game. Each night, Kaito would try more creative ways to try to catch him before he could run off. He did quite well, too, yet even one as talented as Kaito was no match for the preternatural strength he was trying to compete with.

As the nights wore on, Shinichi began to add another part to his nightly routine... Kaito's presence had become an incredible, enormous comfort to him, but Shinichi was only barely aware of how deep his influence extended-Kaito had somehow pierced through to Shinichi's body and soul, to his selves both human and vampire. Shinichi had begun to develop a possessiveness over him, and felt increasingly unwilling to let him out of his sight. He'd taken to tailing him home some nights, when Kaito was leaving to walk home from the Kudou mansion, and Shinichi would just drink in his presence-his smell-from afar as if in a dreamy trance, occasionally watching him from his window as he drifted off to sleep. Constantly listening to his heartbeat, monitoring it, relishing in what was to him the most beautiful music…

One night, however, that beloved heartbeat was different, irregular…it was as obvious to Shinichi as if it had been screamed to him. _Fear_. He could smell it, despite the distance. His attention was so constantly focused on the magician-thief that such distance meant nothing. All he knew was that someone was threatening what was his. Springing from his window, he barreled towards the source.

It hit him as he approached. _Blood. Kaito's blood_. He was crazed, anger and desire mingling, blurring everything. He saw the fool pointing a gun at the crumpled form on the ground…_Kaito_…with a gaping hole in the back of his head.

Anger…fury as he had never felt it before welled up and he let his instincts run free as his human emotions lined up with them, fed them…with the desire to destroy that weak human who had dared…dared to hurt _him_.

Without a second's hesitation, he had Snake in a death-grip, hissing and baring his fangs before snapping the man's arms, one by one, the fear and screams of pain pushing him on, encouraging him. Roughly, he gouged the man's neck, draining him quickly, messily, smirking as he snapped his neck as if it were a twig, sucking out vestiges of live blood before the heart had stopped completely.

He felt as if his body were once again alive, beating and rejoicing at the gratification. In the blind ecstasy of fresh blood coursing his veins, his human anger was quieted.

Then…that beloved music. That precious heart-beat, and that most enticing smell worked its way back into his senses.

Still crouching over the sniper's remains, he looked over to see the beautiful, delicate human, his indigo eyes alight with emotions which made him quiver… and all of that beloved drink, beloved life-force, spilling from him. There could certainly be no more enticing a picture than this…

_He is mine…_ The warm body was in his arms in an instant, and pressing his lips to Kaito's, he tasted the blood that was already cold, yet still more delicious than anything he'd ever imagined. It told the story of the pain that had brought it. Cleaning his mouth, he followed the trail of blood up his face, working gently, his skin so unbelievably soft, the blood so loving. He handled him as if he were a porcelain doll, this precious, precious being…his life-force so bright and obvious…_mine…he could truly be mine…_

He lowered his lips to Kaito's neck, breathing in deeply, overwhelmed by the enticing flavor he had just tasted, smelling it, alive, so close…

And yet, the fear, the panic of his victims…Not only was it absent, but there was…understanding? Relief? Affection? It couldn't be, and yet…Kaito suddenly wrapped his arms around him, burying his face in his chest…and smiled up at him.

His awareness returned, crashing into him in an instant with a glimpse of those indigo orbs, and Shinichi sprang away instantly. Kaito…he…he hadn't hurt him, miraculously, but…

Shocked, he stood there as this human, sparkling with life force and now fully healed, approached him, smiling, and reached his hand up…

His low growl didn't stop him, and Shinichi could only dumbly attempt to process what was happening as the warm hand touched his chin, his lips, sending a thrill, a shiver through him.

It still boggled his mind that when he was with Kaito, he seemed to be able to transcend the bloodlust. The fact that he hadn't lashed out shocked him and yet…

Remembering in a wave of fear, he spun to gaze at his victim… The horror as he gazed at the broken limbs-it brought him back to reality. To the reality of what he was now capable of... of how little control he really had.

He couldn't. He couldn't stay here. If he'd done this…something this brutal…what was to say he wouldn't lose control elsewhere? On an innocent? A loved one? He'd already come so close...

Kaito's soft, musical voice, so forgiving, so understanding…was actually trying to comfort him. Him…a monster. He'd seen what he'd done and yet…

He looked back to face him and the seriousness in Kaito's eyes filled him with a strength he couldn't believe. His heart righted, control returning to him. A smile gracing his lips, he moved forward and took the warmth of this being…this being he loved… in his arms. Holding him close, protecting him from the cold night air, he ran with him, only letting him down once they'd reached Kaito's home.

As the thief's bright curiosity and gratitude rolled off of him, extending to include him, Shinichi became even more sure… he loved him. And it was because he loved him, that he couldn't stay…he couldn't take away that incredible light.

Looking at him, he felt tears rolling down his cheeks, and Kaito's surprised look made him look so…_adorable_… He reached up and stroked the warm, living flesh of Kaito's cheek, rejoicing in the simple contact, in the innocence of the interaction and in the fact that Kaito let him…after seeing what he was, he let him get close anyway…

"Thank you, Kaito," he said, somewhat surprised to hear his own voice…It seemed as if he hadn't used it in ages.

He gazed at the face he adored, drinking it in, stroking it once more as he strengthened his resolve. _This is the last time. Before I lose all traces of my humanity…this is the last time I can see you._

Not saying anything, he held the violet orbs with his blue, pleading for him to understand yet aware he didn't need to…

With a last meaningful glance, he spun and jumped out of sight, hiding in a tree to watch Kaito from the shadows.

_This is how it will have to be from now on…_

He smiled as he saw Kaito bring a hand to rest on his cheek, his lips…each touch a memento of their precious moments of contact.

Yet suddenly, Kaito's eyes widened, a haunted look passing over them and he could smell-could feel-fear radiating from the strong, quickly beating heart.

The image of the massacred body flashing through his mind, and the feeling of Kaito's momentary fear flooded him, and he became even more aware of the fact that he was not human. Not anymore. He was something dark, something that stole light, and life, from others…

He was a monster…but he would never again bring such horrific images to Kaito's mind, ingrain them in his memory.

Kaito was innocent, and the man who had been after him was dead. Maybe he could be happy, now…could get back to living. As long as no more ghosts danced on his doorstep.

Smiling at his white angel, the person who had been keeping him from the darkness with his incredible, effervescent light, he took off… He ran away, far away, unsure of his destination, letting the night breeze comfort him as he tested his speed, pushing the bounds of his supernatural speed and strength... As he continued his journey, making easy work of the swim from Hokkaido to Russia, and then on... he felt some contentment in the fact that he had once lived. He had loved, and had experienced true acceptance. Whatever was to happen from this point on, he was determined to maintain some human sanity. He had to for Kaito.

* * *

I really had a hard time writing this chapter. And I'm not entirely satisfied with it, either, but I think it has it's good points. I'd really appreciate your feedback-good? bad? Should I cut it/focus on certain parts more than others... etc. etc. etc. Well, I hope you enjoyed it! Aren't Kai and Shin heartbreaking together? :D

Anyway, thanks for reading! You guys are the greatest!

tess4aria


	4. Chapter 4

_**Chapter 4: Where Destinies Meet**_

As per usual, I would like to thank all of my LOVELY reviewers and readers. I really hope you enjoy this chapter and please let me know what you think if you can! Thanks so much! :D

I do not own Kai or Shin, but Vincentio and Motome are mine :P

_**Please R&R! Thank you!**_

* * *

oOo

Years passed. The world changed, and one by one his loved ones grew older, moved through life, and moved on.

Shinichi watched it all with lonely fascination, while he himself displayed no outward signs of change... Unless you really knew him, and knew where to look. For his eyes alone, in the kind of sad wisdom they now exuded, hinted at the time that had passed for him.

For years, he had continued to move, restlessly, from one city to the next, one country to the next, finding the constantly shifting scenery to be a distraction…it also kept reality more in-flux, so to speak. The constant movement kept him from creating attachments-to places, but most importantly, to people. For it was alone he lived, alone he moved.

Over time, he began to feel numbed, even resigned, to his situation. He knew what his body needed, and he feared what would happen if he were to deny it…and so each night he continued to take new victims.

And as the years wore on, and his time as a vampire exceeded the time he'd spent as a human, he actually found himself adapting to his new life. He would wake in the early evening, whether in a hotel amongst the cheerful nightlife of Paris, or beneath sparkling stars in the wide-open fields of Umbria, and would breathe in the miraculous sensations of life all around him. In these waking moments, before the thirst hit him, he could almost pretend he, too, was one of the living beings surrounding him. That he, too, was part of this world, and not a burden on it.

Yet every night, without fail, the familiar pangs would hit, and he would no longer hesitate before taking off to satisfy the dark urges coursing through him.

This resignation did not come easily, though. For a time, he was pained by the distinct feeling that his humanity was slipping further from him with every successive feeding, for a big part of himself, now, undeniably enjoyed the sensation, even looked forward to it with greedy anticipation.

There had been times when, unable to bear the mental burden of it all, he would force himself into seclusion, isolating himself in the countryside and denying himself what his body so desperately needed. He forced himself to resist, caring nothing for what it did to him.

But each time he tried, the pull was overwhelming, and by the second night, he would usually give in. On one occasion, however, haunted by memories of a slip when he'd ended up taking both a criminal and his victim, he'd plunged himself into this forced starvation with an indomitable vigor, pushing himself on, driven by a single-minded desire to quell his evil, immortal thirst...

By the third night…all he could see was pounding blood and darkness. He was blind to everything but the atrocities he had committed, the evil he continued to spread, but just as he yearned to leap back into the bloody, eternal cycle, his disgust over what he had done, continued to do, overwhelmed him, occupying his thoughts. Pervaying his consciousness most of all, though, was constant, brutal, deep pain.

But though part of him wished to be released from it, a bigger part of him was addicted to it, feeling it was his retribution that he should suffer so…and so he continued on another night, giving in to drain several sheep, but wrenching himself as far from humans as possible…

By this point, his body was so weakened, his mind so far gone, and his guilt so intense, that he was taken captive by dreams of seeking out whatever would bring him the most pain. And so, rather than sleeping through the day as he usually did, he forced himself to a place he hoped would cleanse him, make him suffer for what he'd done. The land he wandered to, somewhere in Iran, was scorched, and Shinichi walked unhesitatingly into it. Even with his hood up, the bright light felt like live flames dancing around his wrists, neck, back. Smiling at nothing in particular, he began to pull down his hood.

Excruciating pain hit him, began to work away immediately, destroying each cell individually. Biting back a scream, his mouth filled with blood, but he couldn't swallow it. His throat, tongue and mouth were like dry sponges, rubbing painfully against each other. Collapsing to the ground, he cried tears which dried instantly on his burning face.

The pain only worsened, and he felt himself black out.

The heat softened suddenly, drastically. He opened his eyes, but he was no longer in the desert. He was somewhere he knew, somewhere barely lingering in his memories, as if from a long-forgotten dream. Solid ground, the moon shining above, and a familiar clock tower chiming the hour. There was a quiet voice speaking to him, full of affection and humor, a voice which made his heart pound as if he were as human as anyone.

_"You can't give up so easily," _the voice said.

The delirious vampire spun around, but there was no one there. But he knew that voice…_ give up? It would be a mercy to the world if I were to give up…as it is, I'm just eating away at it, destroying it little by little. _He felt those tears well up again, but this time, they didn't evaporate as they fell, but ran down, wetting his shirt with comforting coolness.

_"That's what you think? That you can do only evil? Why do you punish yourself this way?"_

The impassioned voice made him feel as if time were contorting, as if he were back in those long-past days of innocence. He shook his head_. Of course. What else…can I do? I can't help but hurt those I'm around…_

_"Maybe you should stop trying so hard. Be yourself, no matter what that may be."_

_But that's…maybe I could but the truth is…_

_"The truth is?"_

_I'm so…alone, with my curse as my only company. How can I help but see only darkness?_

_"You think you're alone? Search deeper…isn't there something you can do about it? Who knows? Maybe there's someone who needs saving, Shin-chan…Don't forget."_

_Kai..._

Shinichi awoke in the desert, and the pain was back. But somehow, he had managed to fall so his hood would cover him up again, and the sun was supplying only little licking flames over the more serious burns. He began to crawl his way out of the sun's path…_that was some kind of hallucination_, he thought. But suddenly, he didn't feel like dying anymore, like continuing to wallow in pain. Could he find him again? And if he could, what then? Wouldn't he just tarnish his soul-that soul he treasured above all else?

Could he really do something other than evil?

As he approached human residences again, the effect of his fast on his body was demanding that he strike. But he had learned to work with it, had grown used to this form, after all, and simply pushed forward until he made his way into a grungy little alley where a pair of men were attempting to knife each other. Silently and swiftly, Shinichi moved between them, and grabbing them both by the backs of their necks, took them one at a time.

_I won't forget, Kaito. And I'll find you, someday._

Kaito's voice seemed to swim around him, acting as a shield to protect him from his violent, self-destructive tendencies, and it was from then on that he began to linger a little longer in places, to take in the sights, the smells, to appreciate the countryside. In those glorious waking moments he then discovered, when he felt almost alive, he decided to live for both of them-to experience things for both of them, until the day came when they would meet again.

It seemed an impossible fantasy, but it worked to stop him from dissecting things as much. Little by little, he submitted to his instincts and yet… he did his best to never let them totally get out of control. He hardened to his fate, and accepted what he did. And he found that when he submitted, the pain and worries and guilt would vanish completely. When he drank, the world seemed at peace.

But as he settled to drift off in the early morning twilight, once the ecstasy had worn off, horror at the lack of remorse he felt, at how easily and skillfully he had found the night's victims, of how he, when trying to choose between a murderer/pimp and a child molester, had decided, in the end, to take them both… when he realized just how comfortable he'd grown with this life, he could think of nothing but what a monster he had truly become.

But he hadn't tried to kill himself again. Consciously or unconsciously, he'd begun to search…to search for the person he had vowed to protect, yet he'd left…he'd left him…he'd backed out on his promise almost as soon as he'd made it. _Because I had to protect him from myself_… These conflicting thoughts would circulate in his mind as he continued to surge forward through unrelenting time.

Then, one night, years after his first vision, he'd drifted off in a soft nest he'd constructed in a hidden grove near the ocean. Letting the rolling waves comfort him with their timeless lullaby, he heard the faint sound of a melodious voice mixing with the lulling crashes. A voice which broke his heart while repairing it all in one breath.

_Find me. I'm waiting for you._

The owner of the voice was nowhere to be seen, and Shinichi soon drifted off, but when he woke the next evening, he felt a new conviction. It was time to search the place he'd been avoiding. It was time to go back to where this had all begun.

* * *

oOo

Things had really changed since he'd last been here. Well, things had really changed practically everywhere, but there was no wake-up call to lost time like coming back to the home you haven't seen in 80 years. No surprise, his house was no longer where it had been…at least, the building which stood in his old yard wasn't recognizably his house. It looked more like a compact version of Agasa-hakase's house, though it was more streamlined. The whole block was lined with good-sized residences in similar styles, but different colors.

Kaito smiled a little, shaking his head and muttering about good old Japan and its dedication to fads before noticing a familiar presence which brought an insane joy to his heart. The tree he used to always use to sneak out of his window when he was little was still there. Granted, it had grown a lot, but it was still, undeniably, the same trusty tree-his sometime partner in crime, he liked to think.

Carefully, he crept his way into the backyard, and then, a smile forming on his lips (a much rarer sight on him these days), he placed a hand on a familiar knot, and as if he were shaking its hand, quietly said "Long time no see."

He had the feeling that someone was watching him, though the gaze didn't feel particularly threatening. Kaito spun around to meet the sharp eyes of a boy who looked about 12 or 13. His hair was messy, brown with a slight tint of blond, but something about those eyes…this boy looked so familiar.

"Hey there," Kaito grinned and waved at him.

The boy crossed his arms and narrowed his eyes. "You do realize you're trespassing, don't you? Would you like to explain what you're doing in my yard, oniisan?"

Keeping his trusty poker-face in place, Kaito felt a slight tug on his lips. Something about the direct inquisitiveness of this kid made him feel nostalgic…and he just reminded him _so_ much of… his eyes widened.

"Seems I've wandered into another detective. Am I mistaken?"

The boy narrowed his eyes further, but the slightly boastful look that then crept onto his features gave him away. With a smirk, he responded: "I'm still training, but I will be. After all, I'm from a family of detectives."

Kaito studied the boy before saying softly, "You don't know a Hakuba Saguru, do you?"

The boy's eyes widened, and momentarily his confident upstart detective persona wavered. He stared up at Kaito. "You know about my great-grandfather? Just who are you?"

Kaito paled a little…_great-grandfather_? But then, making up his mind about something, he smiled genuinely down at the boy and crouched, twisting his hand around to present him with a rose. "Kuroba Kaito, at your service."

The boy looked slightly shell-shocked, frowning as if trying to remember something, but then turned his frown to the rose. "What makes you think I'd want a damn flower?"

"Ooh, language…well, okay, what do you want, then? Let's see…" And Kaito began to shuffle through his pockets, throwing things in the air, juggling them as he went through them, paying no mind to the wide-eyes of the boy before him as he continued to search with his right hand, his left juggling ten odd objects at once…

"Y-you're just like…"

"Yes?"

"Grandma and grandpa always talked about this crazy magician who was friends with my great-grandparents…he was supposed to be totally annoying, always pulling pranks and giving out roses and juggling and stuff, but…" He paused, apparently struggling for words, but Kaito just crouched down, looking at him with uncommon sincerity.

"They were good friends."

"W-what?" The boy stared up at Kaito's serious eyes, but the magician cracked into a smile. "I'm just kidding! But I'm actually distantly related to the magician you're talking about, and I've heard stories, so I can assure you I'm not just making things up!"

The boy just nodded up at him.

"This used to be my family's house, you know," Kaito went on, looking at the surroundings bitter-sweetly. "What's your name, kid?"

"Hakuba Motome," he responded softly, gazing questioningly up at Kaito. His eyes had softened drastically.

"Hah, I like the name," Kaito laughed. "Motome means 'seeking for truth,' doesn't it? I'm sure Hakuba-kun and Aoko would have been very proud to know you."

The boy's eyes widened, but Kaito just smiled enigmatically. "Heh, said too much, huh? Well anyway, Motome-kun, it was great meeting you. Take care of yourself, okay?"

Motome watched him as he ran away, shouting out at the last second "I'm going to figure you out, you know! That's a promise, niisan!"

Kaito laughed and waved before disappearing around the corner.

"Why did I tell that kid so much?" But he smiled and shook his head. He knew the answer. _Because I never got to tell them…I left without opening up, without telling them my secrets_. The loneliness of this knowledge, the regret…it was just another thing which had been sitting in him for years and years… but he finally felt like he'd found some release.

How odd being back here. It was a very complex feeling, knowing that practically everyone you've ever known is long-past dead. It helped, though, that it wasn't a total stranger in his house… he smiled. His mom and Aoko must have worked something out to hold onto that land. He smiled to think that they had stayed in touch. He had worried about his mom…even though he had kept his promises and called, it was different, having this physical proof.

He felt both incredible happiness as well as unbearable loneliness at the thought that his life had moved on without him. And then, his mom and Aoko and Saguru had all…done something for him, he felt. It was as if they'd sent him some amazing time capsule, like a letter from a previous time.

Setting his face forward, he began to walk on to his next destination. He wasn't sure what he'd find there, but he was anxious nonetheless. He hadn't walked this way since Shinichi's disappearance. It had been, what? Ninety-two years? Yet his feet carried him there as naturally as if he'd continued to make the commute every day since then.

The sun had just set as he got to the Kudou mansion, and it, somehow, looked just as it had the last time he'd seen it. No new additions, yet it didn't seem to be in disrepair. Had someone intentionally kept it this way, all this time?

Kaito tried to think back, but his self-imposed isolation before he'd left Japan had, naturally, included cutting off contact with anyone who knew Shinichi even remotely intimately, and so he had no memory of anyone keeping the house until Shinichi's return… could that be it? He smiled at the thought, but shook his head. Too unlikely.

Approaching the gate, he leaned in the read the nameplate. Just as it had all those years ago, it read clearly:

_Kudou_

A little bubble of hope began to rise up in Kaito's chest. He tried to push it down, but failed, a smile crossing his lips. Maybe someone was home he could ask? Climbing nimbly over the gate, he took a deep breath before ringing the doorbell. No one answered.

After trying a few more times, he decided to do a little spying. Grinning at the old times these stealthy actions brought back, he crawled up the side of the mansion, and making quick work of the window locks, made his way lightly into the living room. The dark room felt so familiar despite the 90-odd-year gap since he'd been here last.

He silently slipped through and noticed that things had been kept dusted. The vague tug at the corner of his mind telling him he shouldn't be wandering around a house where strangers were likely living paled in light of his conviction that this house really belonged to Shinichi. Shinichi was the only person who had the right to live here, in his eyes.

Carefully creeping through, he began to notice things which countered his assumption that someone had been living here. Everything really was the same as it had been. The furniture was all arranged in the same way, the walls were the same colors…Wandering up the stairs, he explored the old library and gasped. The pictures set around on odd bookcases were all the same. Still the same old framed pictures of the Kudou family, with a seven-year old Shinichi grinning, holding a soccer ball, and then a picture of Shinichi and Ran in Junior High…Kaito continued to scan, but yes. They were all the same. The shelved books, too.

Carefully, he peeked into the different bedrooms, but it appeared no one had been using any of the beds. Shinichi's room, too, was empty, and it looked as if the bed hadn't been used in ages. Kaito couldn't help but frown in disappointment. He had been so sure, for an instant, that Shinichi was…that he had been staying here. Laughing coldly at his own baseless hopefulness, Kaito collapsed backwards onto the bed. The bed he imagined still smelled like him, though he knew it was impossible.

He suddenly whipped around. For an instant, he had been sure that someone was watching him. Sitting up, he looked out the open window, but nothing was there. Behind him? He wandered into the hallway, dark and gloomy in this time after twilight. He shivered. There it was again! He whipped around, and for an instant-so slight he would have missed it if he'd blinked-his eyes met wide, cerulean blue.

And then they were gone. Kaito's heart absolutely flew as he raced to the window. There was no sign of him. _But he was here! It couldn't have been a hallucination!_

Frantically determined, Kaito crawled from the window, once again scaling the side of the house (after all, he wasn't worried about falling and getting himself killed) and began a blind search in the darkness. He knew he had no chance of finding him if he didn't want to be found, but he didn't care.

He simply couldn't sit still if he thought there were even the slightest chance of finding him. One by one, he began to check places which had once meant something to Shinichi. Teitan high school, Ran's apartment (or where each had been, the current buildings in their places were unrecognizable)…before squirming a little at the immodesty and taking off to check places they had been together. For hours, he checked old heist locations.

_Are you running from me? Why, Shinichi? Don't you know how lonely I've been? How much I've missed you? Why are you…?_

Panting, he stopped in front of the old clock tower which was still, thankfully, there. He smiled up at it as if it were an old friend, getting a little secret satisfaction in the part he personally had had in its still being around.

It was now quite late. The clock had just chimed for 2am, but then there was a sound which cut cleanly through the darkness: a high-pitched scream. Instinctively, Kaito raced forward to find a man holding a knife to a struggling girl's neck. Hesitating only long enough to figure how he could avoid panicking the criminal into harming the girl, Kaito dove into him, wrestling the weapon and the girl from him…but he didn't notice the man's accomplice, who hit him over the head, knocking him out.

When he came to, he was being held by his neck over the long drop from the clock face to the ground below. Kaito groaned. _The last time I did this, I at least had my hang-glider…not like it'll kill me, but I'd prefer not to feel the pain of my bones pulling themselves together_. He shuddered at the thought.

"Any last requests?" The smirking man said confidently.

"Hmmm…kind of you to suggest it. How about if you look that way for a second?" Kaito pointed behind the man who just rolled his eyes.

"Kid, I'm not going to fall for that," he began, but Kaito had taken the instant it took for the man to roll his eyes to squirm just enough to free his trusty card-gun, surprising the man with a well-aimed shot enough to get him to drop him.

Before he could move very far, though, he was distracted by a terrified cry, and when he turned to look, was caught by a strangle-hold around his throat.

"You were a little out of it before, so you must not have realized, but we still have the girl you so heroically tried to save. You wouldn't want missy to get hurt, now, would you?" The other would-be assassin had what Kaito recognized as a laser gun aimed at her throat, and she was whimpering.

"You bastard, let her go!"

"Sorry kid, but you'll have to do better than that." And the other man shot him through the chest.

Stumbling backwards, blood pouring from him, Kaito managed to muster the strength to pull out a capsule of sleeping gas, but in his pain and lightheadedness, suddenly found himself caught between the gas and the drop behind him. As he felt his reflexes slow, he was knocked backwards by a sluggish punch by one of the kidnappers, and he began to free-fall down from the big bright face of that clock…That clock which had always promised such good meetings…Kaito let a tear roll out as he felt his consciousness slipping away, vaguely anticipating the sickening splat he would have to endure momentarily.

Suddenly, strong arms were wrapping around him, and he slowed. His eyes still closed, he suddenly felt overwhelmingly safe. So incredibly, unbelievably safe as he leaned back against a cold, muscular chest, the lingering pain of his gun wound closing up and stopping. Those strong, saving arms gripped him more tightly, insistently, as they landed lightly on solid ground. In his sleepy mind, Kaito half-registered that, though they were no longer moving, his savior hadn't released him, but his grip was actually tightening, pulling him closer... smooth, cold hands rubbing his sides, the feeling of a nose and lips buried in his hair…

His battle against the lull of chemically-induced sleep won over, and Kaito slumped over in those arms.

The first thing his sleep-addled brain wondered as he drifted towards consciousness was if snowflakes were falling on him. For he had the oddest sensation that light kisses of snow were landing and melting just as quickly all over his face. _Mmmm, and what a comfortable bed...this is like sipping hot chocolate on a cold day, how perfect... _Keeping his eyes shut stubbornly, Kaito stretched a little, not wanting to wake from this calming, pleasurable sensation, but then the recent events came racing back to him. The clocktower, and the kidnappers, and the fall... and...

His heart began to race. Before he'd drifted off, he'd been sure of his savior's identity, but now...Part of him didn't want to open his eyes, for fear that he would be disappointed. But no, that touch...this time, cold, strong hands gripping his arms gently...He knew this presence, though he hadn't felt _him_ in so long. Knew him in and out, damn any differences wrought by their time apart. Slowly opening his eyes at last, Kaito looked up into Shinichi's eyes, and for what seemed like an eternity, they simply drank each other in.

* * *

Thanks for reading! Hope you liked it~ As you can probably tell, there will be quite a bit of KAISHIN-ness in the next chapter, so look out! Sorry for the cliffy... anyway, I really hope you liked this! Again, thanks so much for your reviews up until now. Please continue to give your feedback! Much appreciated!

Also, before someone asks, NO I did not forget about that poor girl with the kidnappers. That will be explained, though the explanation is probably quite obvious... :P

Anyway, thanks again!

tess4aria


	5. Chapter 5

_**Chapter 5: Embrace**_

Finally, we're back!

I am so sorry for the wait! Very busy time right now...have to worry about my *gulp* thesis! Anyway, I wrote most of this a while back, but just wasn't feeling inspired enough to get it how I wanted it. I really don't like publishing chapters until I'm at least moderately satisfied with them, after all. Oh, but I did start some new stories...more KaiShin-ness, of course. I'm stuck, it seems... but go read my newest, _Recovering the Self,_ if you have time~! Thanks so much!

I do not own Meitantei Conan...

**_Please R&R! It means so much to me! Thanks so much for your wonderful reviews up until now! *hugs*_**

* * *

oOo

He couldn't believe it. Those were the eyes…the eyes which had led him on through darkness, guiding him. To think he was being given the chance to see them again, not as mirages, or as parts of half-forgotten memories, but really, truly, solidly. It terrified him as it filled him with a rush of a feeling he'd almost given up on…_hope_…

Reluctantly, he released his grip Kaito's shoulders, but couldn't move otherwise. He couldn't say anything. He had been content to simply watch him, felt himself lucky to simply be able to glimpse him again from afar…but now that he was close, things were irreversibly changed. Part of him knew he couldn't go back…that he could never look away again, and yet…

Slowly, yet without hesitation, Kaito reached up to him, ignoring how the cold cheek tensed under his touch as heat flooded Shinichi's senses.

'I'm not dreaming, am I?" Kaito asked softly before adding, breaking the gaze momentarily, "No, on second thought, don't answer that…I don't know what I'd do if it were…" Kaito looked back up to meet Shinichi's eyes again, which were watching him intently, unwaveringly.

The familiar blue had darkened significantly since he'd seen him last, but they alighted with some secret fire as he spoke, voice quiet yet nevertheless reverberating throughout the dark room.

"If only it were a dream, then I would be happy to never wake again. But I'm afraid that isn't the case."

"What…do you mean?" Kaito's heart, clenching at hearing the voice of this person he had been dreaming, hoping against all odds, to meet again, began to race at the cryptic tone and words. Shinichi looked just as he remembered him…well, no, there were differences. Mostly it was a feeling, though, some aura which seemed to surround him now, powerful and old, hinting at some indescribable dark seriousness. It was a feeling Kaito was familiar with…he felt something similar whenever he faced his own demons, after all…

Shinichi shook his head slowly, backing away, yet kept his eyes fixed on Kaito's as pain broke through his porcelain façade. He said in a low growl, "I…let them hurt you…those weak humans…"

Kaito blinked, struggling momentarily to comprehend what the former detective was referring to, before his hand unconsciously moved to grip his chest where the bullet wound had been. He noticed in slight surprise and amusement that he was wearing a different shirt, one he'd never seen before, but which comforted him, somehow.

Giving it a pointed look before raising his eyebrows at Shinichi, the vampire shrugged his shoulders, letting an eye stray to his old chest of drawers. Kaito realized tardily that he was sitting in Shinichi's bed in the Kudou mansion.

Keeping his eyes fixed on the piece of furniture, Kaito smiled hesitantly, part of him still unable to believe this was real, that Shinichi…_Shinichi_…was here…with him. After all this time…

"You were…alive," Kaito's voice had nothing of the humor, the teasing Shinichi remembered. And those eyes, though still bright and beautiful, had additional qualities now mixed in. They hinted at pain, loneliness, isolation.

They captivated Shinichi all the more and yet drove through him, suddenly, just how arrogant he had been to think Kaito's life would be fine if he were to vanish…As he continued to stare at those still-so-familiar eyes, pain jabbed at his heart as he recognized in them too many of the emotions which he knew littered his own.

"If you can call this living," Shinichi finally answered, his voice low. The old anger rushed back to him, anger at the unfairness of life, for doing this to Kaito. The one person he had sworn never to hurt, he could see, now…he had done just that in his rash, selfish decisions. And yet, would it have been any better if he'd stayed? He couldn't see how it could have been, no matter how much…part of him wanted to...maybe more than part of him, he had to admit.

Those indigo eyes were still fixed on him. Kaito's presence, so unbelievably enticing, had Shinichi's conscience and desires battling fiercely for dominance...and as they were preoccupied, his emotions took over.

Crossing the room in an instant, he reached down and grabbed the magician, pulling him into him. Clutching him to his breast, he wound his hands and arms around him possessively, savoring his presence as he'd never savored anything before. Drinking in that wonderful old smell which enslaved him, he collapsed onto the bed and around Kaito's shoulders, feeling as if he were falling back through time as he stroked his hand through soft, wild hair.

And Kaito was hugging him as he'd never hugged anyone. He couldn't believe it. After such a long, horrible, wrenching separation, here they were, together at last.

"Kaito," Shinichi whispered, and simply the way his name sounded coming from those lips sent a tingling chill down the magician's whole being.

"Hi, Shin-chan," Kaito smiled as he pressed his lips to Shinichi's cold neck, delivering a soft gentle kiss on it.

Smiling, Shinichi leaned in to return the gesture...

With a sharp intake of breath, he pulled back suddenly as if he'd been shocked, but a wrenching pain hit him as he saw the confused, hurt expression on Kaito's face.

"Kaito, I…"

"Don't tell me you're going to use the old vampire excuse on me, Shin-chan," Kaito smiled at him, shocking Shinichi so much his resolve flickered momentarily. _How can he joke so easily about it?_

Shinichi's face tensed. Scowling a little, he muttered "You don't understand."

"Oh? And how is that?"

"You think you know what I am, Kaito…you don't know what I've done…what I've become."

Kaito stared at him fixedly, impatience and affection mixing in his gaze. "Then why don't you tell me? If I don't understand, then help me to."

It took several seconds before these words registered with the vampire. He was too distracted by the degree of feeling that laced them, soaked them. The intensity, the passion, the utter lack of humor. He looked back up at Kaito and saw his eyes were set, determined.

Shaking his head, Shinichi let out a hollow laugh, and an odd glimmer flashed through his eyes. "I'm not who I used to be. I can promise you that. I'm not human, Kaito, and no matter how much you want to pretend that it doesn't matter, I can promise you… I can _promise_ you it does."

"And I can _promise_ you that I couldn't care less. I don't care what kind of monster you want to paint yourself as, you'll always be you, Shinichi. To me, you're all the beautiful…"

Suddenly pausing as the earlier events of the evening came back to him, Kaito looked up and said, "Oh crap, that girl…I left her with those men and…"

Shinichi laughed a cold, brusque laugh, his expression morphing instantly into a cold, self-satisfied smirk. "Oh, you don't have to worry about that scum anymore…and the girl's fine. Albeit a little traumatized."

Kaito's heart began to race a little as he heard these words come from the man before him. They didn't fit him, and yet, as let his eyes track further over his appearance, the subtle changes time and experience had had on him registering more clearly…he felt they kind of did. And as he continued to watch him, a restless, tingling sensation ran down his spine. Looking up to meet his eyes, Shinichi's expression faltered, cracked a little, looking slightly ashamed. "Sorry. I'm not trying to scare you," he muttered softly.

Kaito shook his head and looked at him, his heart rate speeding even further. "It's not that," he said quietly.

Shinichi rolled his eyes. "You think I can't feel your heart beat? I don't blame you. It's self-preservation, which I wasn't aware you had any of. I must say, I'm quite relieved to find I was mistaken."

Kaito scowled slightly before smirking at him, suddenly grabbing the collar of his black suit and roughly drawing him closer. "Oh, is that what you think, my angel of darkness? You think your new behavior scares me? Look deeper, tantei-kun."

Shinichi faltered at these words, and had to suppress a smile at the old nickname. "Then what is it?"

Smirking at the eternal obliviousness of this person before him, Kaito pushed himself up to stare straight into those beautiful eyes before planting a deep, passionate kiss on his lips.

As warm, soft lips hungrily tore at his, Shinichi felt his restraint dropping out from under him. The sensation...it was indescribable. So many times had he had physical contact with humans, several times practically every night of his undead life...and yet _never_ had he felt this. Desire _directed at him_. He could smell it, could feel it pouring into him like a drug...the sweet blood was calling to him, singing him a private song, comforting him, welcoming him home...

He kissed him back, and suddenly, it occurred to him that his own desire felt different, stronger, and there was an unfamiliar desire pouring from him with almost equal fervor. A desire which enveloped him as he threw himself over Kaito, crouching over him, kissing him deeply, pushing him into the soft bed as his hands wandered, tracing and memorizing Kaito's form, learning the soft touch of his shoulders, his arms. Then, ripping the shirt clean-off with his fangs, he traced him again, savoring the incredible soft touch of his bare skin...

Capturing Kaito's mouth again as he pressed his clothed chest against Kaito's bare one, savoring every last bit of contact, running his arms around to settle on his bare back before moving up, gently learning the contours of his neck before one hand tangled itself in his hair...Shinichi began to choke with desire as he felt something wet touch his lips, a question which needed no words. Parting his lips naturally, Shincihi gasped as a warm, wet tongue explored his mouth. Letting out a low moan, Shinichi bit down lightly, keeping the tongue in place. Running his own tongue over it gently, sensually, he tasted that very sweetest flavor...the flavor he had dreamed about, and yet in reality...it was so much better. Crawling up, straddling Kaito's chest on the bed, Shinichi deepened the kiss before pulling out from his tongue, sucking on it as it slipped away, capturing the delicious blood which spilled from it before gently licking the magician's rosy lips, now coated with lovely little bits of coppery-red liquid.

Warmth...wonderful, incredible warmth... Shinichi traced the contours of Kaito's chin with his tongue, moving down before pausing with with his mouth open, fangs touching down, on Kaito's neck. Kaito's strong heart was beating so quickly, seducing him, enticing him. Ever so gently, he broke through...and it was pure bliss.

His senses were overwhelmed, over-shadowed, all-consumed as the beloved drink flowed through him. Suddenly, everything was right with the world. Never before had he wanted to live for eternity, but with one taste of this, he could no longer see any reason to object to the concept. His...for all eternity, his..._Kaito_...

The warmth increased to red-hot heat and then...he was back in the desert, that day...that day he had heard Kaito, that Kaito had saved him...and then the desert faded, but the heat only worsened. His skin was melting off, but then it would heal, just quick enough to keep him conscious, yet slow enough so he could feel every...instant...of the horrible, horrible pain. Flames were everywhere, engulfing him. He opened his eyes. He was...no, he wasn't in the flames, he was watching..._Kaito_?

"Kaito!" Shinichi shot up from his trance, his mind and body aching in painful remembrance. But he was back in his room, and Kaito was here, unburned, whole, fine...but his eyes were closed. And then, in horror, Shinichi saw the thick line of blood running from a sizable spot on his neck. His eyes widened in horror, but he couldn't move. He couldn't jump back...rather, his eyes glazed as he moved to lean down onto Kaito, very gently, softly cleaning the trail of blood from his chest. Instantly, that feeling of comforting, loving warmth returned and embraced him, not so fiercely as earlier, but lovingly, innocently. Hands tangled in Kaito's hair, he gently licked the wound, cleaning it completely until only two little dark red holes remained as evidence of what he'd done...

That and the fact that Kaito's eyes still weren't open. Part of him wanted to jump from the window and never get close enough to hurt him again, part of him wanted to dive right back into that spot in his neck, tasting the beloved drink once again, but rather, he broke through both lust and pragmaticism and collapsed, screaming out for him, stroking his cheeks, kissing his lips, his eyes, demanding that he wake..._wake up, dammit!_

This was it. His nature had finally run away and done something truly, unspeakably, unjustifiably evil. He was a monster in the worst sense of the word...what was it all for? Why couldn't he have killed himself that day all those years ago? Why had he kept going? Because he'd wanted to see Kaito. Selfish beast he was, he'd _needed_ to see Kaito again. Needed to soak in his presence, to have him. He knew his body desired him, and the thought sickened him, and yet... as he looked at the peaceful face..._was he actually smiling_?

And Shinichi knew it wasn't just his horrific evil self which desired Kaito. He had been yearning for him, with every fiber of his being, from the day he'd left him. No, before...long before...he wasn't sure when he'd started to love him...and yet, it was hopelessly the truth. And yet, because he couldn't separate his desires, human and vampire, he'd taken him without a thought but to satisfy his thirst for him...

His reason for being good, his reason for attempting to be anything...Kudou Shinichi died with Kuroba Kaito. There was no alternative.

Stroking his face, he felt as if everything were bubbling up and spilling over...spilling out. He began to cry; heart-wrenching, raw, pain-filled blood-tears...he felt them leave his eyes, waited for them to drip down his cheek...but they stopped.

A warm, soft hand was running up his cheek, catching them. Breath catching, too afraid to open his eyes, Shinichi battled insistently against the stubborn hope which was trying to work its way back into his chest.

"Shin-chan? Why are you crying?"

His eyes snapped open, and they met concerned, wide indigo. Kaito's eyes were bright, his cheeks were slightly flushed, and a slight smile was playing around his red lips. "K-Kai?" Shinichi gasped out.

Kaito cocked his head to the side, eying him questioningly, stroking his cheek with his hand. "What's wrong, Shin-chan? I doze off for a second and you think I'm a goner?"

"I-I...thought I'd...I mean, I could have..."

"You didn't drain me even, Shin-chan. If you want to know what knocked me out, I...think I saw your memories..."

"You wh-oh..." Comprehension and relief dawning, Shinichi then shook his head fiercely. "But Kaito, I hurt you and if you'd..."

To his astonishment, Kaito was laughing. "Hurt me? Are you kidding?" Shinichi just stared.

"That was incredible," he said, eyes flashing with mischief. Before Shinichi knew what was happening, Kaito had crushed his lips over his, and had Shinichi, back-down, under him. Pulling back, he smiled down at the hopelessly confused vampire.

"It didn't hurt, and you forget, Shin-chan. You can't kill me. Not the way I am now..."

"But I didn't know that, Kai, and what if...?" Shinichi's eyes were dark again.

"Then you would have been an angel of mercy. You think I like being immortal, Shinichi?" The humor in Kaito's voice had washed away once again, leaving biting, cold seriousness in its wake. "You saw it, didn't you? I believe I saw one of the memories I sent you before you experienced it."

Shinichi nodded slowly, and said softly, barely above a whisper: "The flames..."

"That's right. That was one of my failed attempts to break this damn curse...as you can see, it didn't work so well."

"Kaito..."

Kaito held up his hand to stop him, placing fingers over Shinichi's mouth. "Listen to me. I learned a lot from what I saw in those visions. I know how you see yourself," Kaito's eyes darkened, glaring at Shinichi with an intensity that almost made him shiver. "What a laugh. You think you're a monster? You're too good for your own sake, Shinichi..."

Shinichi almost choked at this. "W-what? Kaito, I...I kill people. Every day, several times a day...I kill people. I know how much you abhor killing, and so we got along back when I used to catch murderers but how...?"

Kaito shook his head sadly, smiling slightly, as if trying to think of how to explain somehting to a stubborn 4-year old.

"Let me ask you something, Shinichi. Do your instincts make any particular...distinctions? Do you ever feel a pull towards one victim or another?"

Shinichi stared at him, considering the question seriously, still clutched to Kaito's chest, wrapped in his warm embrace. Shinichi was too confused and shocked to consider moving...and Kaito's touch was so incredibly comforting...

"Well, not really...but..." He grimaced, but forced himself on. "I...do have...preferences."

"Oh?" Kaito looked slightly amused at the thought. "Like different tastes to suit your palette? Well, how about me? Am I your type?" He winked, but then his eyes widened at Shinichi's hopelessly open shock.

"You mean...you do find me, um...how would you say it in Vampire-ese? Delectable?" Kaito grinned.

With a sudden possessive growl, Shinichi lunged forward, burying his face in Kaito's (still quite bare) chest, running his tongue up him all the way until he'd reached his mouth. Closing his eyes, he paused over the enticing lips, and then opened them again to look at Kaito's staring, but not unhappy, eyes seriously. "If you must know, I find your blood to be more enticing than any other substance I've found. Desire is as good a way as any to describe it. My body desires you. It's extremely difficult to keep in check, but I'm usually good at rationalizing my way to another victim...But I didn't realize how mixed vampire and human desire are..." He continued as if talking to himself, as if he'd forgotten Kaito were even there. "I see now. I can't feel human desire without my instincts taking over...That's why."

"Shin-chan, do you mean...?" Kaito was looking at him strangely, smiling wide.

"Wh-what? What's the look for?" Shinichi asked stiffly.

"You desire me, meitantei? Is that what you're saying? It wouldn't be...more, would it?" Kaito had leaned closer, his breath teasing Shinichi to the point of it being painful, his eyes dancing in amusement, lighting up as they soaked him in further and further.

"I..." Shinichi gulped. "I...I can't be with you, Kaito. You heard what I said...I'll just continue to hurt you, so it doesn't matter...no matter how much I love you, the vampire crap will warp it beyond recognition, and I can't take tha-"

"You mean it?"

"What?"

"You just said," Kaito was looking at him fixedly again, the unfamiliar seriousness mixing with the old lively excitement in his gaze. As if his eyes had come back to life in the short time since they'd reunited. "You really...love me?"

Shinichi froze, and a little blush (possible only due to the blood he'd so recently ingested) rose to his cheeks. Staring at an old stain on his bedspread, he softly said. "I do..."

And Kaito's lips were over his once again. This time, just a long, passionate, yet perfectly chaste kiss. When Kaito pulled back, his eyes were sparkling with all of the excitement and mischief of the old days, and he cupped his hands around Shinichi's cheeks. "Well I have news for you, tantei-kun. I love you, too, and a respectable thief doesn't let go of what he loves...Would never pass up the world's most precious treasure..."

Shinichi blushed fullly this time. He couldn't believe this was happening. As if it were a scene from someone else's life-or his life, but his mortal one. A dream about his mortal life and what could have been...but it was too incredible. _That_ life had ended so long ago... He'd thought his human emotions had died not long after, and yet suddenly, he felt strangely as if he were an innocent 19-year old once again...

But those illusions stopped abrupdtly as he remembered what had just passed minutes before.

Kaito, obviously noticing Shinichi's switch back to moody and dark, just sighed and said. "I didn't get to finish my questions, Shinichi. Okay, so I'm the _most _attractive to you," he visibly preened at the statement, "But are there others? Others you feel pulled to take, and yet...choose not to?"

"Well, yeah, of course..." Shinichi frowned. "As sick as it is, I believe vampires are more attracted to the blood of souls they could connect with more easily...I don't know for sure, but you're so..." he blushed again. "But really, whenever there is a moderately decent human being, they...it's like they call out to me."

"And yet you only kill the worst criminals you can find." Kaito was smiling at him knowingly, a twinkle in his eyes.

"Well, of course, that's..."

"You call yourself a monster," Kaito said slowly, softly, "And yet you've been fighting it the whole way, fighting to maintain your soul, your person...I saw it, you know...when I saw your memories. I saw how every night you drag yourself away from thousands of voices calling to you, drag yourself to tail criminals, to make sure they're _bad enough_..."

Shinichi was a little annoyed by the smug smile on Kaito's face. He obviosuly still didn't get it. "Kaito. It doesn't matter who I kill, I'm still a murderer! And I'm obviously capable of doing worse!"

"And what about humans? They don't have the same innate desires, the same uncontrollable thirst, yet you meet enough murderers each day to more than quench your own. What reason do they have? The way you treat them...I saw it all. The remorse in your eyes, the apologies, how gently you handle them, how sweetly, lovingly you deliver them to death's sweet embrace. You show mercy, and you don't kill without reason. You do it to survive and because it is absolutely necessary for vampires to do so. It isn't for revenge, or extortion or anything...not like the real monsters. Don't you see, Shin-chan? The real monsters are out there. Everywhere. But you aren't one of them. No matter how guilty you feel, your guilt only proves my point more and more..."

Shinichi was speechless. He'd relied on-gotten on day by day by facing the reality that he was evil, was a monster, and that he would continue to kill because he was something evil, and there was nothing he could do about it...but Kaito...

"You aren't a monster, Shinichi. Instinct and necessity are different from humans who murder for the fun of it. Those who kill without remorse. Kill children, rape, ENJOY the act and the thought of it. So tell me again, Shin-chan, why we can't be together?"

"Be-because..."

"The only thing monstrous, or cruel...the only way you could hurt me, Shinichi," Kaito said softly, seriously, "the only true murder would be to plunge me back into loneliness now that we've found each other."

"Kaito..."

"Just let me stay by your side, Shinichi." Kaito's eyes were flashing, almost glowing in the moonlight as they kept on him. "You can't hurt me. And even if you could, I would have no regrets. What use is there in continuing to watch the world spin by without us? Because I'll tell you. I've had just about enough of it. I need you, Shinichi. There's nothing you can do about it. If you insist on running from me again, I'll just chase you until If find you again. Please. Don't push me away."

And finally, very slowly, Shinichi nodded. "I...don't know how this is going to work, Kaito, but...I'll try. It's selfish, but I've...missed you too. So much, and..."

And he was silenced, once again, by warm lips crushing over his. A full-body conversation, joined lips, clasped hands, where their gazes met...informed them both of what they were still hesitant to really admit, to believe...that yes, they felt the same way, and that maybe, somehow, things would be better now. Maybe, just maybe, they would never have to face that loneliness again... never again would they be _truly_ alone. As Kaito pulled back from the kiss, Shinichi carefully adjusted him in his arms and, without letting go, arranged the covers over both of them. Foreheads together, sharing a pillow, Kaito inched his body ever closer to Shinichi, taking his legs hostage in his own before giving him a last goodnight kiss.

"See, Shinichi? You're not such a scary monster after all, are you?" He joked, stroking Shinichi's cheek with his fingertips, drinking in the sight he would get to fall asleep to now. "You better not make this a one-night stand," he added, chuckling.

Rolling his eyes, Shinichi pulled Kaito into his chest, wrapping his arms more tightly around him and said, very softly, "Don't worry. I promise I"ll be here when you wake up."

And with that, Kaito felt himself drifting into the first comfortable sleep he could remember having in decades.

* * *

So...FLUFF...ish...chapter. Entirely KaiShin interaction...hope it worked out! Please let me know~! I really wanted to do this right, so I definitely had some trouble putting it together. Whether you think I did or not, please let me know!

Thanks so much! Hope you enjoyed it!

Please review~

tess4aria


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